Understanding Depression's Lies & Finding Comfort in God's Voice

Recently our family has begun walking through a journey of a loved one dealing with depression.  In that journey, we've learned that people who are depressed can find their thinking so clouded that they believe the lies about themselves and often open up channels of voices speaking cursing into their life because it confirms the emotional feelings that they are being slowly strangled by.  And that they will then turn the volume up on those voices that confirm the mess they think they are.

In the process, they also turn down the volume of God's voice, and the voices of those speaking God's message of blessing and identity into their life.

It's a powerful captivity that Satan loves to keep people in.  If he can destroy your understanding of your identity, he can choke the abundant life that Jesus has for you right out of existence.  He can close the pathway to your purpose and eliminate the glory that your story will bring to God and the blessing it will bring to others.

To those dealing with a depressed loved one, it can often inflict emotional wounds on you as well.  We don't fully understand the hurting that the loved one is trapped in and we don't always remember to view their responses to us accordingly.

Often in our plan to help, we can become stumbling blocks or even unwitting messengers of Satan.

That's why Psalm 23 is so iconic in the faith community.  It speaks to the deeply felt truth that God doesn't always deliver us from evil, but He walks with us through the valley of the shadow of death.  He fills our cup in the company of our enemies, not after removing them.  He allows us to continue on our journey through the valley of the shadow of death, but He comforts us with His presence in every step.

We often pray that God will deliver us from circumstances of pain and suffering.  He absolutely can, and He often does.  But sometimes He doesn't.  And it's in those moments that we need to be the most intentional about turning up the volume of God's voice when everything inside of us seems to confirm that we should close the God App and start live streaming the voices of the enemy confirming our deepest fears and justifying our pain.  Walking through depression is typically a "valley of the shadow of death" kind of Psalm 23 journey.  It takes time.  It takes trust.

The same book of Psalms that contain the famous 23rd Psalm, also intentionally gives us a vivid depiction of depression in the previous chapter,  Psalm 22:

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me,
so far from my cries of anguish?
My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,
by night, but I find no rest. Or night, and am not silent
Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One;
you are the one Israel praises.Or Yet you are holy, / enthroned on the praises of Israel
In you our ancestors put their trust;
they trusted and you delivered them.
To you they cried out and were saved;
in you they trusted and were not put to shame.
But I am a worm and not a man,
scorned by everyone, despised by the people.
All who see me mock me;
they hurl insults, shaking their heads."

 "Do not be far from me, for trouble is near and there is no one to help."

"I am poured out like water,
and all my bones are out of joint.
My heart has turned to wax;
it has melted within me.
My mouth is dried up like a potsherd,
and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth;
you lay me in the dust of death."

 Those are just some excerpts, but it seems to me that they pretty vividly depict the agony of someone going through the valley of depression.  The torment.  The pain.  The distorted view of identity.  The seeming silence and distance of God.  The hopeless despair.  God understands it all.

I don't have answers.  I don't understand yet fully the journey we are on.  Reading Psalm 22 and 23 together, however, gives me greater clarity of my role and my burden to be a voice of blessing and not cursing.  It gives me greater insight into the experience of one dealing with depression.  It comforts me to know that God is in the midst of that pain, that God is walking through that pain, that God included passages like this in the Bible to show His heart and compassion for those walking through the valley of the shadow of death.  It speaks to my heart that God is good and that He is a loving Father to those shackled with the chains of depression and anguish.  It comforts me to know that Psalm 139 promises:

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

Nothing and no one is beyond the reach of a loving Father.  God is always there, reaching.  Even if we are in the pit of depression's hell, God is there.  He doesn't leave us or forsake us.  I pray and believe that on the other side of this journey our story will be one of victory and of bringing praise to God for a purpose re-found, an identity restored, and a faith expanded with the knowledge that we are who God says we are and that He delivers and sustains us and turns our mourning into dancing.  If that's you or your family, be encouraged that a loving Father sees each tear and knows each pain.

He is there.  Always.

Helping The Next Gen Grow Their Faith Through Relationship

Our church has been doing a series challenging us to live out intentional generational faith.  A faith that is passed on and encouraged from one generation to the next.  And as someone involved in family ministry for 10 years now, my heart was glad.

It's a message that is so important.  Faith isn't transferred to the next generation through a classroom.  It's not a program or even a great series of lessons.  It's transferred when it's lived out.  Together.  In RELATIONSHIP.

In a passive society where stuff matters more than others and we prioritize ourselves over all, it's becoming a revolutionary act to pursue an active faith and impart that to the next generation.

So, as we begin this series to talk about helping the next generation win, I thought it was time that I look back and thank those who helped me win.  Here are three of their stories:

MY MOM

My mom took a lead role in all things spiritual in our house.  She's the person who instilled in me a deep love of Jesus and church.  She showed me the power of serving.  She demonstrated the power of unconditional love to a son who sometimes struggled to even like himself.  It is through her undying love that I managed to survive the turbulent teen years.  She also served as my youth leader.  Literally nobody else in the church wanted us.  And so she stepped out in faith.  At the time, it was a little awkward.  Having your mom as your youth leader can be a problem.  She didn't have a degree.  She wasn't an expert on teenagers.  She simply had a willing and loving heart.  She loved us teens and walked through the mess with us.  And while it probably seemed to her like many of her lessons during this time fell on deaf ears, it was largely because of this investment in my life that I am where I am spiritually.  And where my children are spiritually.  And why I serve the next generation in my church with such passion.  She is also where I get my love of holidays and celebrating family time.  She also has been the prayer warrior in my life.  There wasn't a day that went by that my mom wasn't praying for us.  I was blessed to have two parents who loved me, supported me, and provided for me.  Not everyone gets that.  I'm thankful for my mom's commitment to our getting involved in church and for prioritizing our walk with Jesus at a young age.  It changed the entire trajectory of my life.

PASTOR JACK

Growing up I was beyond blessed with the pastor that served my church.  Jack Hamilton was a joyful man who radiated unconditional love to everyone he met.  He taught me that Jesus likes to have fun.  He helped make church a place that I wanted to be.  He showed me how much of an impact living life with joy and a smile can do.  He showed what the heart of a pastor looks like.  Late night phone calls & visits to troubled families, round the clock visits to the hospital, spending time with shut-ins, he did it all.  His boundless joy could not be contained.  It was a force of nature that left a permanent mark on my life.  There was simply not a person that Jack didn't love or share Jesus with.  His influence went beyond just me personally, his influence on my family and the direction our family took together in the faith is largely because God brought Jack Hamilton int our lives at just the right time.  Attending his funeral bore witness to the influence that he had as person after person stood to share what Jack meant to them.  We even heard one last audio recording from Pastor Jack made on his death bed.  As he said good-bye to us, he shared the Gospel message one last time to those in attendance.  That's the kind of Christian that I want to be.

MRS. WILEY

Mrs. Wiley was a fun old lady.  She was my Sunday School teacher circa 4th-6th grade.  She had to be at least in her seventies when she taught us.  Physically she somewhat resembled Doris Roberts from Everybody Love Raymond.  And she had the voice of Edith Bunker.  She was a little bit eccentric, but she really loved us.  That a woman that much older than us would still be serving faithfully in Sunday School stuck out to me.  And she didn't make an impact because she was super trendy or hip.  In fact, she was pretty much the opposite of that.  But she was someone willing to still have fun and laugh even in her later years.  She may have been old chronologically, but she was certainly young at heart.  Her example taught me to embrace the fun in life.  It also taught me that sometimes being the coolest or most talented person in the room isn't all that counts.  She taught me that everyone can make a difference just by sharing their love and joy with another person.  I couldn't tell you specifically any lessons that I learned with Mrs. Wiley in church, but I can still feel the warmth of her presence.  She loved us unconditionally even when we disobeyed.  She had fun with us instead of scolding us.  She showed me the love of God personified.

LESSONS FROM MY LIFE

The lesson that I can take away from these shining examples and others is that the key to helping the next generation win is RELATIONSHIP.

Reggie Joiner would put it this way:

"You can't influence someone that you don't know."

Helping the next generation win means connecting them to an active and authentic relationship with Christ.  In order to do that, we will need to be warm and relational.  My top 3 influences didn't impact my life because they were the best communicators that I've ever known.  Their lasting impact on me was borne through the relationship they created with me.  That RELATIONSHIP allowed them the INFLUENCE and LEVERAGE to speak life and truth into my life.

As a result, I was more open to what they had to say and who this Jesus that they followed was.  By modeling a warm and genuine relationship with me, they helped me understand the kind of relationship that God wanted to forge with me through Jesus.

As followers of Christ, we owe it to the next generation to be a model of RELATIONSHIP and to leverage that to point them toward the source of all hope--JESUS.

As you look back in your own faith journey, who were some of your biggest champions?  How did they leverage their relational warmth with you to stoke the fire of faith in you?

Thank God for those who poured into your life to help you win and ask Him what you can do to help the next generation win.

Feel free to hit the comments and share!

Beautiful Sunset: A Lesson on Faith

Sometimes following Jesus is like a rainy day on a vacation.

Let me explain.

We all know that FAITH is believing in something that we can't see, and yet most Christians I know are constantly looking for signs or confirmation about things. Even the most certain of Jesus followers will find a need for confirmation at some point.  We want to know that we are right.  We want to know that God's real.  We want to know that He hears us.   That He cares.  That there's really a plan.

And sometimes we can read too much into things and come to the wrong conclusion.

The enemy KNOWS that your Father God has CREATED you with a PURPOSE.  And God's purpose for your life is not something that Satan will enjoy.   As a result, FEAR and DOUBT will often obscure your view and cause you to hunker down at home and miss GOD's BEAUTY.

We're currently on vacation in Naples, Florida.  It's beautiful here.  I'm pretty sure heaven will look like this.  One of our favorite things to do is to go to either the Marco Island or Naples beaches at night and watch the sun set over the Gulf.  It's truly breathtaking.  On my birthday we went to dinner on Marco Island and planned to see the sunset afterward, but it had been raining all afternoon.  It was still cloudy and foreboding.  We didn't want to pay the $8 to park if there wasn't going to be a sunset.  

We finally decided to just go for it.  And the sunset was a truly unique sunset.  It was unlike any other sunset we've seen.  The water almost looked light gray.  The sky was filled with clouds, but as the sun sank on the horizon it became partially visible near the horizon.  It looked like a painting.  It was so colorful and so beautiful that it didn't look real.

We were so focused on looking for signs of a sunset that we almost missed one of the most beautiful ones we have every seen.

A woman who was healed by Jesus probably had the same experience.  The Bible tells us that she had been "subject to bleeding for twelve years" and that she suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors.  I don't know about you, but this doesn't sound like your best life now.

This woman's life was one of suffering and frustration.  All of the signs told her that her case was hopeless.  She should just accept her life of misery.  But she heard that Jesus was in town and she ignored the signs because she KNEW that He could help her:

A large crowd followed and pressed around him. And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering. 

At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?” 

“You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?' ” 

But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”    MARK 5:24-34

I never considered this story from this perspective until I either read it or heard it in a sermon recently, but the reality is that the woman was healed just by touching Jesus' robe.  That could have been the end of the story.  And it would have been miraculous.  But Jesus stepped into her life in the most unexpected way.  He wouldn't let it go until she came forward and admitted that she touched Him.

Why?  It's not as if Jesus didn't know who did it.  Much like Santa, he sees everything and knows all.  So then His questioning had to be for her.   It was so that she would have a face to face conversation with her Savior.  It was so that she could shed her old identity of the sickly, downtrodden hopeless gal  and emerge as a daughter of God.

That wouldn't have happened for her if she read the signs and stayed home.  GOD has a beautiful sunset beyond your current storms.  Don't miss it.

That Egyptian Army, Though...

One of my favorite people in the Bible is Moses.

I mean his story is a story of redemption, of fighting against the powerful on behalf of the downtrodden, of submitting to God and having a front row seat at a display of His power.

It also comes with a long time of wandering around in a dry, hot desert while leading a bunch of complaining cry-babies.  To be honest, I don't know how Moses put up with his people as long as he did.  And when he is denied entering the Promised Land because he hits a rock in anger, you have to wonder as a reader how he didn't get to that level of frustration earlier, amiright?

He goes up to talk with God on the top of the mountain and comes down and the gang is dancing around a golden cow, having totally forgotten and forsaken the powerful God who has delivered them from their oppressive slavery.

It's easy from the comfort of a 2016 existence to look at such behavior and mock them for their lack of faith or consistency.

When you dig beneath the snark of how stupid and weak these people were, you actually get a realistic and gritty depiction of how stupid and weak we are.  Just like the Israelites, our HEARTS are often COATED in FEAR.

One of my favorite passages of scripture comes during the excitement of the Exodus.  Here the Israelites have left their bondage and are on the banks of the Red Sea.  A literal pillar of fire and clouds has been leading them.  They've seen countless miracles and plagues demonstrating God's power.  And they saw the most powerful leader of their day, the Egyptian Pharaoh, lose his resolve and let them go.

I mean dude was like a defiant teen with his tremendous refusal to accept reality and submit to a greater authority.  It seemed like he would never give in.  But he finally did.  And then about 10 minutes later when he realized that his slaves were gone and that he and his boys might have to lift a finger and work.  So, he gets all confederate on the Israelites and chases after his "property."

And of course the Israelites melt into a pile of cowardly goo when they see the advancing Egyptian army.  They literally start whining that it would be better to go back and be slaves then to experience freedom with God.  (Another blog post for another time but very telling on our view of "freedom" and "slavery" when it comes to our society and submission to God!) As a response, Moses gives one of the most epic statements in the entire Bible in Exodus 14:13-14:

"Moses answered the people, 'Do not be afraid.  Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today.  The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.  The LORD will fight or you; you need only to be still.'"

Be still.  The LORD will fight for you.  Stand firm.

In fact, the pillar of smoke and fire then goes between the Israelites and the Egyptians.  And the Bible tells us that one on side it brought "darkness" and to the other side it brought "light" so that neither side went near it.  God is darkness, confusion, and foolishness to those who don't trust Him.  To those who do, however, He is a shield, a protector, a LIGHT that illuminates every aspect of life and history to make sense in a way not possible to someone not open to the things of God.

And just for kicks, God threw the mighty Egyptian army into confusion.   Then Moses lifted his hands and raised his staff and God parted the Red Sea for His people to make perhaps the most dramatic exit in the history of the world.  Oh, and then he made the Red Sea crash down onto the heads of the Egyptian army as they attempted to cross.

Pretty epic, right?

It's easy to mock the folly and fear of the Israelites as nothing but foolishness.  And it was.  However, it is a foolishness that we all share in.  Whether it is the Israelites in the desert, Peter on the water, the disciples in the boat, or those of us today fretting about our family, our finances, our health, or even just whether or not people will mock us, FEAR has played a huge part in warping our conception of God.

GOD stands ready to FIGHT for you.  You literally have to do nothing but stand firm and keep focused on HIM instead of your FEAR.  An advancing Egyptian army, or a broken marriage, or a troubled son or daughter, or a broken relationship, or a financial hardship are all pretty frightening in their own way.  They ALL, however, pale in comparison to the POWER of the GOD who is FOR YOU and WHO DELIGHTS in FIGHTING FOR YOU.

Every time we allow our FEARS to shrink our view of the unfathomable SIZE and POWER of GOD,
we allow our CIRCUMSTANCES to DEFINE our FAITH as TINY and TIMID.

FAITH is the exact opposite of FEAR, and that's why FEAR works so hard to undermine it.  The larger our faith, the smaller our fear.  So as we allow our FEAR to EXPAND, our FAITH begins to rapidly DIMINISH.

Exodus 14 ends with verse 31: "And when the Israelites saw the mighty hand of the LORD displayed against the Egyptians, the people feared the LORD and put their trust in Him and in Moses his servant."

Put your trust in the GOD who sees you as a BELOVED SON or DAUGHTER.  In the GOD who is LARGER than your FEARS.  In the GOD with the UNMATCHED POWER to demolish your FEARS so that you never see them again.  Let your FEAR shrink and your FAITH expand.

Don't be captive to fear.  Embrace the freedom in God's security.

Heart Wounds: Fear Leaves A Mark

Recently, I said some very harsh things to someone that I love dearly.  It was a tense conversation and something that probably needed to be addressed long ago, but as the conversation progressed, I found an intense anger rise up within me.  I ended the conversation with very angry words that I regretted saying the moment they came out of my mouth.

As I continue to strip away the damage that FEAR has done to my HEART over the years, I have discovered that FEAR generally damages your HEART in THREE MAIN AREAS:

• FEAR distorts how you SEE GOD and how you RELATE to HIM.  Fear will destroy any real intimacy you have with GOD because it will prioritize other problems and things above God. It DENIES GOD access to the broken places in your HEART and stops up the access to healing.

• FEAR damages your conception of YOURSELF and breaks the God filter that allows you to see yourself as God does.  Instead you focus on how horrible you are and allow yourself to sink into depression, and into a personal spiritual and relational paralysis.  FEAR will destroy any real self-reflection of yourself and will cause you to see yourself in a skewed light.  Instead of being able to see your flaws and learn from them to get better, you will see them as unfixable messes that make you unworthy of love.

• FEAR mutates how you see OTHERS.  You will no longer see them as God sees them.  You will see their worst qualities.  You will mock them,  You will not be capable of COMPASSION because your focus is always on yourself and your own problems.  FEAR will destroy any intimacy you might have with others.  It will make them a punching bag for your own hurt heart.  

And although I've begun to break the cycle of FEAR in my own life, I've discovered that breaking free from FEAR is a lot like becoming a Christian.  Yes, you can become a Christian in an instant, but it also will take a lifetime to actually work out what that means.  In the same manner, you can break free spiritually from FEAR in an instant, but it will take time healing some of the wounds that were inflicted on your heart from that fear.

JESUS deals with this in Matthew 15:17-19:

“Don’t you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what defile a person; but eating with unwashed hands does not defile them.”

The things that come out of a person's mouth come from the heart.  And these defile them.

The focus is so often on external things, but Jesus refocuses us onto the HEART.  And the things that fly out of your mouth come from that heart.  And there's a reason.

So when you find yourself lashing out at someone and can't seem to understand why you can't control that anger, there is a reason for that.  There is an unaddressed hurt.  There is a wound that needs healing.  The same is true of others who might lash out at you.

And here's the thing--just because you've overthrown FEAR from ruling your heart, it doesn't mean that the damage is completely undone.  Just like following JESUS is a relationship that needs daily tending and leaning into Him, so does our heart need time and healing.

Too often, however, we choose to hold on to the hurts.  We don't want to let go.  We don't want to resolve it.  It's just who we are.  Deal with it.  We tell it like it is.

God's plan for you is so much bigger than that.  There's a reason that Jesus famously tells us in Matthew 6:21 that, "where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."  What you keep in your heart and refuse to let go becomes your treasure.  It's like Gollum's "precious" in the Lord of the Rings.  If your heart's treasure is not GOD, it will destroy you.

That's why God tells us in Ezekiel 36:26 that,  "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh."

GOD wants to give us a new heart.  He wants to heal us from our past hurts.  He wants to restore our view of OURSELVES, our view of HIM, and our view of OTHERS so that we can embrace the plan that He has for our lives.

For some of us, we find it impossible.  God couldn't do that.  He can't use me.  He can't heal me.  This won't ever get better.  Well, that's the wounded heart speaking within you.  That isn't the voice of God.  That's the lie of the enemy planted in the fertile soil of your wounded heart.

The truth is found in 1 John 3:20: "If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything."

GOD is greater than your heart.  LISTEN to HIM.  Pray to enjoy healing in your broken parts.  In fact, your restoration is meant to not just benefit you but also others.

American author Ernest Hemingway put it like this, "The world breaks everyone, and afterward many
are strong in the broken places."  The broken places of your HEART are fertile ground for GOD's HEALING and RESTORATION not just for you, but for the wonderful hurting folks that God will place in your path.  You will become STRONG in the BROKEN PLACES if you allow God to work.

It's my prayer for my recently revealed wounds.  These are wounds carried around by nearly 40 years of submitting to FEAR.  And these are wounds that can't be worked away.  They can only be LOVED away by the perfect and unfailing love of the FATHER.

Begin your path to healing today by allowing GOD to make you STRONGER in the BROKEN PLACES of your HEART.  FEAR has no place in your life.  You were born for a purpose.  Break free.

Generational Faith - The Cornerstone is Relationship

It's easy to look at the anger, violence, and cultural disintegration of our nation and become fearful.  It seems rather hopeless.  It seems like lives are being wasted on the pursuit of the frivolous and that "claiming to be wise" we have become a nation of fools.

And that's partly true.  Selfies seem to matter more than selflessness these days.

But then you remember the power of GOD and how His love can transform a life in a MOMENT.

Children form their conception of WHO THEY ARE and WHO GOD IS from the adults and peers in their lives.  IDENTITY is typically realized in the context of community.  It isn't one person that defines who we are, it's a mosaic of the people in our lives.  The same is true of our view of God.  We typically don't form our opinion in a vacuum.  It is forged through the people in our lives, our experiences, and our own sense of identity.  So, when a kid's view of God and self is obstructed, it's devastating for their future.

As a high school English teacher, I once had a student who was a senior in high school and a pretty angry girl overall.  This was my first year of teaching and everything was new and confusing to me as I attempted to navigate old British literature with a room full of dynamic and sometimes explosive students.  This girl was often angry and combative, but she was usually fine for me.  Toward the end of her senior year, she asked me for a letter of recommendation.  She wasn't a stellar student, but she was on average a decent student for me, and I knew that my class was actually one of her better ones.

I agreed to write the letter, but I wasn't quite sure what I could say in it.  Before I had an opportunity to attempt a letter, she came in one day and lashed out in her anger at me.  She called me a curse word and made a scene.  I had no choice but to send her to the office and write her up. That afternoon, I called her home to share about the day's events and to tell her mom that I wouldn't be able to write a letter of recommendation at this time.  

I was not prepared for what came over the phone line.

Her mom assaulted me with a line of cursing directed not at me, but at her daughter.  She exclaimed, "I don't know why my daughter would want you to write a letter of recommendation because she is nothing but a B---- and a whore.  And if that whore thought that I was going to spend one penny on her to go to college to do nothing but sleep around, she's nuts.  That B----- is worthless.  I'm not surprised she acted like that.  She's trash."

I was stunned.  And in that moment, I realized how much power we have over the young people in our lives in defining who they are and what path they will take in life.

Suddenly, I saw this girl in an entirely new light.  If that level of anger and hatred was directed at her on a regular basis from her mother, no wonder she acted that way!  She defined herself in the confines of her mother's anger.  And that set her on the path leading to a lot of bad things.

Fourteen years later I still think about this girl.  I still pray for her on occasion, hoping that she somehow found a way to find peace in her life.  I hope that someone came into her life to speak words of hope and encouragement to her.  I hope that she had someone share with her that there was a future and hope planned for her before her birth and that she was loved beyond comprehension by her heavenly Father.

The sad reality for this girl and for many like her is that she's completely divorced from the idea of a loving parent.   Any concept of God that she might have had would spring out of that sea of anger and dysfunction.  God created her with a purpose and a plan.  Unfortunately, she might not see that because there are so many other voices shattering her self-image and obscuring her view of the path of life marked out for her by her Creator.

And here's the thing.  Maybe that started out small, but consider a ship at sea.  Personally, I get seasick on boats, so I don't like to think about them, but it's a good example, so stay with me.  If a ship is off course by just a small degree, it isn't noticeable at first.  But after a long time traveling on the wrong course, the ship gets farther and farther away from where it is meant to go.  The same is true of us.  When we start out life with a false understanding of who we are, who God is, and what it means to actively pursue and follow a relationship with Him, we end up off course.  It isn't noticeable at first, but after years pass by, we find ourselves nowhere near where God wants us to be and like nothing He designed us to be.  And that brings hurt, disappointment, and brokenness.  

The truth is that we all need someone speaking life into us, not just kids.  Parents are supposed to do that.  The church can help parents find a way to do that by partnering with them.  When you look at Deuteronomy 6:4-9, you will see that Moses spoke about the importance of the leaders in the community partnering with parents to ensure that the next generation of faith understood God in a personal way:

"Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.
And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."

The transferring of faith from one generation to the next was about community and relationship and the cornerstone of this generational continuance of faith was to be the family.  Why?  Because following Jesus is not about an institution or a set of rules.  Following Jesus is about relationship and the best way to model and convey that to the next generation is through relationships.  That's why families and churches need to be intentional about how we convey a relationship with Jesus. 

It is for that reason that generational faith matters.  In his children's ministry book, Orange Essentials, Reggie Joiner said of children's ministry workers:

"You are the CHAMPIONS of family.  You are the ADVOCATES for the church.  But most
importantly...you are the MESSENGERS of of God ILLUMINATING, LOVING, and DEMONSTRATING His story of redemption to SONS and DAUGHTERS."

Imagine how different our culture would look if we just embraced this fully.  What if instead of focusing on PROGRAMMING in our churches, we focused on COMMUNITY? What if instead of focusing on filling the family calendar with ACTIVITIES, we focused it around being intentional and using every second to build relationships and impart GOD's INDENTITY for our children?  What if instead of seeing church as a place to SIT, we saw it as a place to SERVE and intentionally created opportunities for our kids to serve alongside of us?

There are so many angry and evil voices competing for your child's attention.  Don't let yours be one of them.  Don't passively accept that this is just the way things are.  Be intentional about finding people who will share your love for your child and impart the wisdom and hope that you do for them. And if you never had that yourself, there is good news--Jesus is all about restoring broken people.  There is a hope and future for you beyond your comprehension if you will just lean into Him.

Branding Your Identity

Who are you really?

Who or what do you measure yourself against?  Honestly.  Think about this right now.  We all have this ongoing internal monologue about who we are.  Wait, you don't?  It's just me?

Assuming I'm not crazy and you have also spent a lifetime measuring your self worth by some standard somewhere, what is it?

Do you even know?

Our culture is kinda obsessed right now with branding, and re-branding, and image, and social media projections that have no basis in reality.  We're all obsessed with pretending to be something that we are not.  And this overwhelming focus on our false facades has completely cut us off from anything real.  For that reason, so many in today's society feel unsettled.  Unaccomplished.  Unimportant.  Unheard. 

We're binge-watching and tweeting away a FALSE life of no significance when GOD has an epic adventure awaiting just outside our door if we will just focus on what is TRUE.

In the JRR Tolkien novel, The Hobbit, there is a special moment early in the book where Gandalf touches on this idea.  Gandalf has mischievously selected a hobbit, Bilbo Baggins, to join a throng of dwarves on an adventure to reclaim their treasure from a dragon named Smaug.  For those of you who aren't nerds, I will explain that a hobbit would probably be the last creature you'd take on an adventure of any kind.  They are short, fat, lazy, and not the sharpest tools in the shed.  They don't stray far from home, and they spend most of the day eating.  

The dwarves were not amused.  They questioned Gandalf's selection of Bilbo.  In response, Gandalf said of Bilbo, "There is a lot more in him than you guess, and a deal more than he has any idea of himself."

Gandalf saw a potential in Bilbo before anyone else did--including Bilbo.

And recently, I've been realizing the same is true of us.  In my own life, the voice that I've listened to in the inner monologue of my self-identity has been a hostile one. It told me that I didn't measure up.  It told me that I messed up too many things to be a success in life.  It told me that I wasn't as good as this person, or that one, or really anyone.  I'm not worth it.

It sounds childish for a nearly 40 year old to write this.  I get it.  And there's good reason for that. It's because I really was like a child cowering in fear.  The feeling of helplessness is like nothing that I can truly put into words.  Fear paralyzed me from moving forward and from seeing who I really am.  Fear caused me to passively accept defeat and embrace definitions for myself that were not TRUE.  

I believe that each person deep down inside answers two questions:

1.  Why was LOST cancelled? 

2.  What was that ending about?

Just kidding (for the most part.)  I believe the two questions that define everything in our life are:

1.  Who am I?

2.  Why am I here?

And how we answer that about ourselves determines our response to every aspect of life.  GOD has one answer for us:

Jeremiah 1:5:

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you;

Before you were born I sanctified you;

Jeremiah 29:11:

11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

2 Corinthians 6:18:

“I will be a Father to you, And you shall be My sons and daughters, Says the Lord Almighty.”

Sons and Daughters.  Known before we were formed.  Planned.  Created.  Given a future.  Thoughts of peace and not evil.  HOPE.

How often do we really listen to that?  Honestly?

If you are anything like me, not much.

Too often we compare ourselves to just about everything else--other people, standards and ideals that we will never meet, expectations, the words of others, our past.  These voices and thoughts drown out the still, small voice that assures us that we are LOVED.  That we are FORGIVEN.  That we are PRECIOUS.  

FEAR is one very powerful stronghold in the life of a human being.  It can keep you from the things you are destined to do and drive you to destructive behaviors designed to deaden your heart's pull toward your purpose.  It can simultaneously be a hidden and unseen force and a powerful prison from which you can't seem to free yourself.  FEAR can completely cut off the supply of HOPE coming from God and cause a person to be completely immune to words of life and hope spoken by loved ones and friends.

Just like Gandalf, however, God wants to silence those doubting voices.  God has a bigger plan and dream for your life than you could ever possibly fathom.  

Like Bilbo, however, you need to awaken your true identity and stop falling for false comparisons. When you stop accepting the false identity you believe about yourself, you will begin to see the sunlight.  A new day will begin.  God will reveal Himself to you in a new and more powerful way.  

When you correctly answer the question of who you are, you will be open to what massively important and amazingly life-altering journey that God has for you.  

Walk with me in this struggle.  Let's cast out fear and embrace our purpose.  I bet the world will thank us for it.

You are no longer a SLAVE of FEAR, you are a CHILD of GOD:

Yoda Faith: Do Or Do Not, There Is No Try

Yoda lights the way for the Christian journey...

Adore the green little Jedi master named Yoda, I do.  Ashamed of that, I am not.  Covered with Yoda merchandise, my desk is.

As a child in the early 1980s, I loved Star Wars.  I had all three films on VHS TAPE.  Yes kids, many years ago before the glory of Netflix and Hulu, we actually had to purchase copies of movies on VHS tapes that we played in magical machines called VCRs.  You couldn't skip to a scene.  You had to fast forward or rewind.  The hours of your life spent rewinding and fast forwarding your favorite VHS tapes were hours that you never got back.

Anyway, I actually do remember seeing The Return of the Jedi in the theaters.  It was the only Star Wars film that I was old enough to see in the theaters.  As a worldly young man of the age of 7, I rather enjoyed the film.  My younger brother was scared of Jabba the Hutt and I laughed at him for it.  I found Jabba entertaining.  Eating some sort of frog thing.  Having some puppet creature sitting on his tail. The pig guards.  What's not to like?

So, I was enjoying the film.  Then it happened.  Luke Skywalker finally returned to Yoda to complete his training.  And Yoda died.  HE. DIED.  He coughed and mumbled something about another Skywalker and then coughed some more.  He rolled over saying that he must "rest, rest, must rest."  And then he died and disappeared from his bed.

Sure, he was over 900 years old, but I was devastated.  (Much like my previously described devastation at the death of Optimus Prime.)

Looking back over Yoda's storyline, however, I begin to sense a reason why I like him so much.  Yoda trained centuries worth of Jedi knights.  He was wise.  He was all-powerful.  He had his mind blown by a flashlight.  Wait, what?

Yes, okay, so the great Jedi master perhaps spent too much time in the swamp, as he fought R2D2 over a flashlight and giggled like a toddler over it's magnificence.

Don't mess with Yoda. You have been warned.

That aside, Yoda knew how to impart wisdom and faith to the next generation.  When Luke Skywalker spent a large portion of his training whining and sniveling about how unfair things were and how he would never get it, Yoda just shook his head and used inverted syntax to impart gems to Luke  Gems such as:

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” (Yoda understood how destructive fear, anger and hatred are to faith.  He must have meditated on Jesus' teaching to love the Lord your God with all your heart, your soul and your strength and to love your neighbor as yourself.)

“Always pass on what you have learned.” (Yoda was very focused on discipleship.)

“[Luke:] I can’t believe it. [Yoda:] That is why you fail.”  (Yoda understood that without faith it is impossible to please God.)

“You must unlearn what you have learned.” (Yoda clearly understood that your mind will be renewed through the power of Christ.)

“Truly wonderful the mind of a child is.”  (Clearly Yoda understood that you have to come to Christ like a child!)

“Do or do not. There is no try.”  (Yoda understood that a faith without works was dead.)

“Luke: What’s in there? Yoda: Only what you take with you.” (Yoda understood laying your burdens down and not carrying them with you in your daily walk with Christ.)

"Size matters not. Look at me.  Judge me by my size, do you?  Hmm?  Hmm.  And well you should not."  (Yoda was a big fan of David and Goliath.)

Understood the path of faith in Christ, Yoda did.

Yoda's training of the Jedi knights parallels the active role that your faith in Christ should have in your life.  In today's consumer driven church, where believers come to be fed and then see no importance in serving, Yoda's teachings could help light the way.  As Yoda famously chided Luke, there isn't a "try" in following Christ.  You do.  Or you do not.  Hot.  Or cold. There is no lukewarm try.  That is not to say that you will always succeed in all that you do.  It is to say that you should actively seek after the Lord every day and seek first His kingdom.

Do yourself a favor and follow Yoda's faith advice.  If you don't, your father will turn into an evil cyborg and he will cut off your hand and try to kill you.

The choice is yours.

Very definitive, Yoda is.  Uncertain, he is not.

Optimus Prime & Sacrifice

"One shall stand, one shall fall," --Optimus Prime 

On Memorial Day, we stop to thank those who have paid the ultimate price for our freedom, those countless men and women over the generations who have willingly laid down their lives for others.

Sacrifice is a lost virtue in today's society and yet it is so central to the Gospel.  Social media, selfies, and an entire industry of reality shows centered around vapid self-centered people have conspired to baptize this generation in narcissism.

As a result, the Christian idea of sacrificing for others often falls on deaf ears.

As a child of the 1980s, I was one of many in that generation traumatized by the death of Optimus Prime, the leader of the Autobots.  Any child of the 1980s knows who the Transformers are--robots in disguise!  The evil Decepticons and the heroic Autobots were locked in a struggle for survival throughout the mid 1980s.  The cartoon show was part of my afternoon routine growing up.  If I didn't have a VHS tape ready to "time record" them, I needed to be there.  There were no such things as DVR, On Demand, or Netflix.  How did we survive?

Optimus Prime was my favorite.  I didn't own his toy until much later, however, as he was expensive. My Transformers were usually the cheaper ones.  So, the Autobots in my bedroom were often being led by lesser robots in hopes that Optimus Prime would one day arrive.  Then I had the great idea of pausing my VHS tapes and drawing the Transformers one by one.  I then cut them out and played with paper dolls of my heroes.  It was quite impressive.  I had a complete set of drawings.  And if one of them ripped or got faded, I just drew a new one!

Anyway, after several seasons, the cartoon series made the leap to the big screen in Transformers: The Movie. This seemed exciting.  Optimus Prime on the big screen!  That booming voice!  That awesome heroism!  The epic smackdown between Prime and Megatron!  That is until kids realized that the toy makers who inspired the show apparently needed to create a new line of toys and directed the storyline of the movie to kill off all that we held dear.

That included Optimus Prime.

As the Autobots on earth were nearly slaughtered, Optimus Prime showed up to save the day.  Graced with his own musical montage of the 1980s rock anthem called "The Touch," our dear Optimus Prime single-handedly defeated the entire Decepticon army.

Then he faced Megatron with the promise that "One shall stand, one shall fall."

Optimus was rocking it.  Then that annoying new toy Hot Rod interfered and Megatron got a massive shot in at Optimus Prime.  Although Megatron was also mortally wounded (so that they could introduce the new Galvatron toy!) Optimus Prime died and handed off the leadership of the Autobots to another new toy.  This was about 40 minutes into the movie.  Oh, and annoying Hot Rod ended up becoming the new leader by the end of the film.  What a kick to the gut!

There was weeping, gnashing of teeth and rending of garments. I would say that I went on a hunger strike, but as a chunky kid, I likely sought comfort in the house of TastyKake.

In fact, so scarred by Prime's death was I that when I saw the Michael Bay film Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, and witnessed Prime die on screen a second time, I turned to my friend and stated, "Optimus Prime better come back to life before this movie ends or I will burn this theater to the ground!"

Although I joined in the massive letter writing campaign that ultimately convinced Hasbro to bring Optimus Prime back from the dead, I learned a great lesson as a heart-broken 10 year old.

John 15:12-14 says:

"This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends. You are My friends if you do whatever I command you."

Today's generation is so soaked in narcissism that it is missing out on what Optimus Prime understood: there is honor in laying down your life for others.  Jesus modeled this in His own sacrifice for our sins, but it was really the culmination of living an ENTIRE life putting Himself aside in favor of serving others.

Jesus laid down His life for our salvation, but He also continually laid down self in every action He took during her earthly life.

On Memorial Day, when we stop to remember those who gave their lives for our freedom,  it's probably a good idea to stop and think about our priorities in life and how we choose to live.

Do we put others first?  Do we serve others?  Do we understand the life-altering freedom-giving power of sacrifice?  When asked to sum up the greatest commandments, Jesus said to love God with all of your being and to love your neighbor as yourself.

In order to fully embrace the Christian life that Jesus has in mind for us, we need to embrace our inner Optimus Prime (complete with 1980s rock anthem of your choice) as we slay the Decepticon armies surrounding mankind.

Sacrifice.  Don't miss it.  When you "lose" your life as you narcissistically define it, you will gain a life beyond your comprehension just like Optimus Prime.

God's Got It: 2013 & Isaiah 25

The nation is abuzz with talk of fiscal cliffs, the stench of the slaughter of innocents from the Sandy Hook school shooting still hangs stagnant in the air, and millions of Americans are out of work indefinitely.

January 1 is typically of day of tremendous promise and hope.  A new year.  A new beginning.  A fresh start.  A do-over.

And yet two weeks after the Mayan apocalypse, many find that hope elusive this year.

Many of us had a not-spectacular 2012 and find believing and expecting for something better in 2013 difficult to do.

And yet God is good.

Praying and reading the Bible in the early hours of this new year, the Lord has directed me to Isaiah 25:8-9"

"He will swallow up death forever, and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces; The rebuke of His people He will take away from all the earth; for the Lord has spoken.  And it will be said in that day: 'Behold, this is our God; we have waited for Him, and He will save us.  This is the Lord; we have waited for Him; we will be glad and rejoice in His Salvation."

And just like that the Lord refocuses my sight on Him.  He IS my God.  I need only to wait for Him and trust in Him.  Government is not the answer.  Church leadership is not the answer.  Financial provision is not the answer. A life of comfort and ease is not the answer.  Every day is not a Friday in the way that this world defines Fridays.  Every day IS a FRIDAY as God defines it.  That does not always promise ease and comfort in this life.  It does, however, promise PURPOSE, HOPE and a step closer to HIM spiritually and chronologically.  

He has swallowed up death forever.  He will wipe our tears.  He will take away our rebuke.  He will deliver us and HE HAS WON OUR SALVATION.

There is much to hope in indeed.  Christ is Lord.  And HE IS OUR GOD.  We will wait for Him and He will save us.

To that end, let us seek Him in the new year and join with countless citizens of America in praying for our nation the prayer of 2 Chronicles 7:14:

"If my people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land."

Let us pray and seek Him.  Let us put Christ first and let all concerns pass away.  We were chosen for such a time as this. Now let us redeem the time that we've been given by surrendering it back to Him and trusting Him to guide our steps and secure our future.

Hope indeed.  Happy 2013.

Peter: Dissing Jesus One Minute & Loving Him The Next

"Feed Me!"  

You have to love Peter.  Or maybe you don't.  I don't know you so I won't presume to tell you what to do.

Anyway, Peter is a man of high highs and low lows.  Dude jumped out of the boat when he saw Jesus walking on the water toward them when everyone else was messing themselves and shaking like a leaf.

Then he sank into the water because his fear and lack of faith got the best of him.

He was also eager to build tents for Elijah and Moses when they networked socially with Jesus during the Mount of Transfiguration experience.  They weren't planning on hanging out long enough to need the digs, so he never got to build them.

Then during the Last Supper when Judas was all-Satan-ed up, Peter dramatically declared that he would never betray or leave Jesus only to have Jesus rebuke him by predicting his betrayal as a prologue to the exciting event of a rooster crowing.  Me thinks the burly fisherman doth protest too much.

You get the sense when you read John's Gospel that there was a friendly rivalry between these two.  John-boy was the "beloved disciple" and often subtly refers to himself as such when writing his Gospel narrative.  I guess it's a way to try to remain humble about the honor.

To read his account, you see that when Jesus was arrested and Peter was warming up for his betrayal performance of a lifetime, John was also there:

"And Simon Peter followed Jesus, and so did another disciple. Now that disciple was known to the high priest, and went with Jesus into the courtyard of the high priest.  But Peter stood at the door outside. Then the other disciple, who was known to the high priest, went out and spoke to her who kept the door, and brought Peter in."  JOHN 18:15-16

Now, it's true that the account doesn't specifically say it was John, but among the 10 possibilities (let's go ahead and rule out Judas) for this mysterious other disciple, only John is recorded at being at the cross during Jesus' crucifixion.  John and Peter are almost ALWAYS referred to as being together.  Pretty much any major narrative involving one of them involves the other.  Symbolically their partnership serves as a glimpse of the collaborative relationship between FAITH & DEVOTION (John) and ACTION (Peter).   Additionally, John ALWAYS refers to himself in third person, but typically names the other disciples. 

If it is indeed John (and since I'm the author of this blog, I'm declaring that it is) it is interesting that the only disciple to see Jesus through to the cross and the one who bore such a deep and abiding love for Jesus was probably a first-hand witness to at least one of Peter's denials.  According to the text, Disciple X (see also John) was allowed into the courtyard but the salty rough and tumble Peter was not.  Physically, John-boy was probably not nearly as menacing as Petey and yet he doesn't deny Jesus for fear of peer pressure the way Mr. "Rock" does.  Anyway, John used his street cred with the door-lady and "brought Peter in."  Then the very next verse says, "Then the servant girl who kept the door said to Peter, 'You are not also one of this Man's disciples, are you?' He said, 'I am not.'"  

So, John went to get Peter, vouched for Peter and then "brought Peter in" and in that very same instant, Peter was questioned by this door-lady and denied Jesus.  Ouch.  

That my friends is a literary contrast.  And this English teacher likes it.

So, after Peter denied Jesus and runs from the courtyard weeping, John stays and watches his Savior die for the sins of the world.

The two then also face off in racing to the empty tomb.

And then there is Peter's restoration.  Peter was previously described as a "rock" by Jesus and then he had that epic rooster-crow-inducing FAIL of denial.

So when Jesus appears to the disciples after His resurrection, it should be no surprise that He makes a special point to restore Peter's rock-ness. And just as John gave Peter access to the courtyard that night, it's again John that confirms to Peter that it is Jesus speaking to them from the shore in John 21:6-7:

"And He said to them, 'Cast the net on the right side of the boat, and you will find some.' So they cast, and now they were not able to draw it in because of the multitude of fish. 7 Therefore that disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, 'It is the Lord!' Now when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his outer garment (for he had removed it), and plunged into the sea."

After Peter gets to the shore, Jesus engages him in a little game of "Do You Love Me" where He asks Peter THREE times whether he loves Him or not.  Peter basically answers that he likes him a lot.  And each time Jesus commands him to feed and tend His sheep.  This is to restore Peter to his rightful position as a rock of the faith that will help lay the foundation of the early church.  Jesus knew that Peter had the tenacity and the ACTION to get it done, but here He's restoring Peter's love and devotion (see also relationship) with Him after the nasty denial episode.

Again, interestingly enough, Peter will now get his wish to follow Christ even to death as Jesus predicts that Peter will also die via crucifixion.  Jesus is allowing Peter to truly go where He has gone even after Peter dropped the ball and cajoled a rooster into breaking the serene morning hours with his obnoxious wake-inducing melody.

And even still Peter is comparing himself to John.  He wants to know about John's type of death.  Perhaps because he now feels like he's in the inner circle of relationship again and wants to confirm that all folks in the "in crowd" will suffer and die like that.  Jesus' answer is to again turn the wayward eye of Peter back to Him and not on others.

(Side note:  It's always troubled me that Jesus seems to suggest that John would live to see the end times and the typical "Jesus was just redirecting Peter's attention" explanation never quite cut it.  Thankfully this time reading through the Holy Spirit reminded me that John did in fact see the end times when he wrote the book of Revelation.  Mystery solved.)

John and Peter represent the need for faith and action to work together.  Peter may have had shortcomings and failures but Jesus demonstrated through his story that He is all about restoring broken people by giving them opportunities to learn from their failures and grow closer to Him as a result.

As parents and world-changers in the lives of children, we need to understand that our kids are the same way.  We need to build up both a deep and abiding love of Jesus AND the boldness to act and rock this world to the foundation.  There's a lot to learn from the lives of Peter and John.  

And there are a lot of the Master's sheep to tend and feed.  And if we truly LOVE HIM we will do just that!

Backstabbing Brothers & Birthrights

Editor's Note:  I'm very impressed with the alliteration in the title of this blog.  You should be too.


Jacob and Esau.  It's a story that we all know well.  Jacob gets dissed a lot.  What with all of the deception and thievery that the smooth skinned Mama's boy did, we can probably understand why.

And yet as I read through the story this time around, I was struck with Esau's hatred of his birthright.

Sure Jacob took Esau's birthright and then later conspired with his mother to steal his blessing from his blind and old father.  These are not traits that we would usually celebrate to our children or encourage in our church.  They are traits that we would typically identify with a villain.

And yet Jacob is the dude that get's the blessing and the dude that God continues to build His Biblical narrative through.

Why?  Well, let's look at the beginning of their story in Genesis 25:22-26:

22 But the children struggled together within her; and she said, "If all is well, why am I like this?" So she went to inquire of the Lord. 23 And the Lord said to her: "Two nations are in your womb, Two peoples shall be separated from your body; One people shall be stronger than the other, And the older shall serve the younger." 24 So when her days were fulfilled for her to give birth, indeed there were twins in her womb. 25 And the first came out red. He was like a hairy garment all over; so they called his name Esau. 26 Afterward his brother came out, and his hand took hold of Esau's heel; so his name was called Jacob. Isaac was sixty years old when she bore them.

Jacob and Esau were warring in Rebekah's womb.  God told them in advance that this was going to be a case of textbook sibling rivalry.  And while we can't excuse the deception and the bad things that Jacob does, we can't deny his passion.

And it dawned on me that the story of Jacob stealing Esau's birthright is just as much about Esau as it is Jacob.  Jacob would never have been able to take the birthright if Esau hadn't "despised it" so much.

Here's the text of the story from Genesis 25:29-34:

29 Now Jacob cooked a stew; and Esau came in from the field, and he was weary. 30 And Esau said to Jacob, "Please feed me with that same red stew, for I am weary." Therefore his name was called Edom. 31 But Jacob said, "Sell me your birthright as of this day." 32 And Esau said, "Look, I am about to die; so what is this birthright to me?" 33 Then Jacob said, "Swear to me as of this day." So he swore to him, and sold his birthright to Jacob. 34 And Jacob gave Esau bread and stew of lentils; then he ate and drank, arose, and went his way. Thus Esau despised his birthright.   

Now, I'm a simpleton.  I don't claim to be the smartest man in the world nor do I claim to be the final authority on all scripture.  As I understand it, however, the birthright in Biblical terms meant that the firstborn was to get a double portion of the inheritance from the father.  The firstborn would also become the head of the household after dear old dad kicked the bucket.  This is what Esau despised.

Now, it's not clear from the wording if he always despised his birthright or if he just in this moment despised it by his actions.  Either way, the man clearly held his birthright in low esteem.

Jacob is a great cook apparently, but it still doesn't seem like a rational person would give up his inheritance and role of leadership over his family for a meal.  I say this as an intense lover of food.  As much as I love cheeseburgers, I'd never forfeit my standing in my family for one.

And that is exactly what Esau does here.

While we don't typically in this day and age have siblings enticing us to forfeit our inheritance over some fine cuisine, we do have many many lessons to learn here.

Again, think about that for a moment that if Esau esteemed his birthright as he should have, Jacob would never have succeeded in his plot.  And by Jacob's passionate desire to obtain that birthright from Esau we can infer that he saw the birthright for the blessing that it was.

So in that sense Jacob's wrong-doing here is akin to Jack Bauer breaking all sorts of laws as he pursues the higher good of saving folks from terrorists or biblically speaking the prostitute Rehab lying about the Israelite spies in order to protect their lives (a feat for which she is credited in the Hebrews hall of faith.)  Again, this doesn't dismiss his wrong-doing, but it does reveal the nature of his heart.

And the bottom line for us today is to not be Esau.  The enemy prowls around seeking to "steal, kill and destroy" anything that brings glory to God.  Your family is the basic building block upon which Jesus has built His church.  The loving relationship of mutual respect, submission and self-sacrifice between a husband and wife is to testify to the love of Christ and His church.  The parents are responsible to apply God's word and faith in Christ to the hearts of their children.  Church can provide illumination of those truths, but it is the daily relational dynamic of the family that is responsible for making that faith real.

And so, when the enemy is attempting to steal, kill and destroy things that will bring glory to God there is no bigger target than Christian families.  If he can destroy our families, he can render us spiritually neutered in this world and will radically diminish and water down the effectiveness of the church.

In order for his dastardly deeds to succeed, however, we have to "despise our birthright" just as Esau did.  Every time we choose sin over Christ we despise Him.  Every time we choose sin or self over our spouse and children we despise them.  Every time we lose a blessing, diminish our ministry, or rip apart our family it is because we have despised them.

It is only when Satan convinces us to do an impersonation of Esau that we can lose our birthright.  If we love our spouse and children more than ourselves, he has no foothold.  If we love our Jesus more than our sinful desires and temptations, he has no foothold.

So, quite simply, instead of heaping judgment upon the head of the trickster Jacob for his thieving ways, let's take a moment to reflect on the heartless folly of Esau.  He sold his birthright for a bowl of stew.  He so despised his blessing, his family and his faith that he was willing to barter it away for a snack.  Don't trifle with sinful stew.  Esteem your birthright as a man or woman of God and put your God and your family before yourself and before anything else that easily entangles or ensnares us.

Know that Jesus is faithful and will always provide you a way to stand.

You cannot positively influence the lives of your family for Christ without first esteeming Christ and family above all else.  Your family cannot influence and expand the ministry of the local church without first esteeming your birthright to each other first.  Your church cannot stand and influence our culture and community with weak ineffectual families who esteem their birthright no more than a Happy Meal at McDonalds.  Don't be a gaggle of Esaus trading away the eternal for the temporal and the important for the trivial.

Love your God and your family like the world is depending on it because it is.