Understanding Depression's Lies & Finding Comfort in God's Voice

Recently our family has begun walking through a journey of a loved one dealing with depression.  In that journey, we've learned that people who are depressed can find their thinking so clouded that they believe the lies about themselves and often open up channels of voices speaking cursing into their life because it confirms the emotional feelings that they are being slowly strangled by.  And that they will then turn the volume up on those voices that confirm the mess they think they are.

In the process, they also turn down the volume of God's voice, and the voices of those speaking God's message of blessing and identity into their life.

It's a powerful captivity that Satan loves to keep people in.  If he can destroy your understanding of your identity, he can choke the abundant life that Jesus has for you right out of existence.  He can close the pathway to your purpose and eliminate the glory that your story will bring to God and the blessing it will bring to others.

To those dealing with a depressed loved one, it can often inflict emotional wounds on you as well.  We don't fully understand the hurting that the loved one is trapped in and we don't always remember to view their responses to us accordingly.

Often in our plan to help, we can become stumbling blocks or even unwitting messengers of Satan.

That's why Psalm 23 is so iconic in the faith community.  It speaks to the deeply felt truth that God doesn't always deliver us from evil, but He walks with us through the valley of the shadow of death.  He fills our cup in the company of our enemies, not after removing them.  He allows us to continue on our journey through the valley of the shadow of death, but He comforts us with His presence in every step.

We often pray that God will deliver us from circumstances of pain and suffering.  He absolutely can, and He often does.  But sometimes He doesn't.  And it's in those moments that we need to be the most intentional about turning up the volume of God's voice when everything inside of us seems to confirm that we should close the God App and start live streaming the voices of the enemy confirming our deepest fears and justifying our pain.  Walking through depression is typically a "valley of the shadow of death" kind of Psalm 23 journey.  It takes time.  It takes trust.

The same book of Psalms that contain the famous 23rd Psalm, also intentionally gives us a vivid depiction of depression in the previous chapter,  Psalm 22:

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me,
so far from my cries of anguish?
My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,
by night, but I find no rest. Or night, and am not silent
Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One;
you are the one Israel praises.Or Yet you are holy, / enthroned on the praises of Israel
In you our ancestors put their trust;
they trusted and you delivered them.
To you they cried out and were saved;
in you they trusted and were not put to shame.
But I am a worm and not a man,
scorned by everyone, despised by the people.
All who see me mock me;
they hurl insults, shaking their heads."

 "Do not be far from me, for trouble is near and there is no one to help."

"I am poured out like water,
and all my bones are out of joint.
My heart has turned to wax;
it has melted within me.
My mouth is dried up like a potsherd,
and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth;
you lay me in the dust of death."

 Those are just some excerpts, but it seems to me that they pretty vividly depict the agony of someone going through the valley of depression.  The torment.  The pain.  The distorted view of identity.  The seeming silence and distance of God.  The hopeless despair.  God understands it all.

I don't have answers.  I don't understand yet fully the journey we are on.  Reading Psalm 22 and 23 together, however, gives me greater clarity of my role and my burden to be a voice of blessing and not cursing.  It gives me greater insight into the experience of one dealing with depression.  It comforts me to know that God is in the midst of that pain, that God is walking through that pain, that God included passages like this in the Bible to show His heart and compassion for those walking through the valley of the shadow of death.  It speaks to my heart that God is good and that He is a loving Father to those shackled with the chains of depression and anguish.  It comforts me to know that Psalm 139 promises:

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

Nothing and no one is beyond the reach of a loving Father.  God is always there, reaching.  Even if we are in the pit of depression's hell, God is there.  He doesn't leave us or forsake us.  I pray and believe that on the other side of this journey our story will be one of victory and of bringing praise to God for a purpose re-found, an identity restored, and a faith expanded with the knowledge that we are who God says we are and that He delivers and sustains us and turns our mourning into dancing.  If that's you or your family, be encouraged that a loving Father sees each tear and knows each pain.

He is there.  Always.

Have You Ever Felt Unhinged?

Have you ever just felt a little unhinged?

It's okay. If you can't admit it publicly, you can probably admit that you've seen it in others.

That overly negative complaining Facebook post and all of the angry comments egging it on and encouraging the author to bask in that rage. That angry tweet-storm of name-calling and threats. That train-wreck public meltdown of someone in a store, in the parking lot, on the sidewalk, or in your house.

You stare. You judge. You thank God you are better than that person. You talk about them behind their back.

But if you are honest--really honest--you will admit that you were that person a time or two.

And you aren't necessarily a bad person for it. You would hate for anyone to see you like that, and you certainly wouldn't want anyone judging your worth based on your actions that day.

Maybe you stubbed a toe. Perhaps you couldn't find your keys. Maybe the kids were just not cooperating today, or the boss was overly demanding, or the car broke down, or the basement flooded. Maybe it was something more.

Something that happened to you overtook you. And you weren't prepared for what came out of you. You came unhinged.

When we are unhinged, we lose control. We lose focus. We lose what matters most.

So often when we talk about this concept, we think of an all or nothing connection. We're either rolling around in a pool of God's grace or crawling on the hot sands of the spiritual desert devoid of His presence.

We often think of it in those polar extremes. We don't think of the day to day struggle to remain in Him. And maybe you aren't a serial killer, but maybe you snapped at someone when you shouldn't have. Maybe you gave in to road rage. Maybe you believed a lie about yourself and fell into despair.

Being unhinged can take many forms.

Jesus referred to our dependency on God as that of a branch in a vine in the famous passage from John 15:4-6:

"Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned." 

So often we analyze that passage specifically about the relationship of our faith and our works as believers. If we aren't connected to God, our actions will not match our faith. And that's a very central concept to this passage, but it's bigger than that.

When a branch is disconnected from the vine, it's biggest problem isn't its failure to make fruit, it's that it is dead.

Sure, it might not appear that way right away, but the longer that separation goes on, the more the symptoms of death will be evident.

Our IDENTITY, our PURPOSE, and our WORLDVIEW are rooted in the vine of Christ. When we sever that connection, we will die and not just in an overly symbolic way. We will be devoid of life. Not just in a "serving the poor" kinda life. A "Living every day without losing our minds" kinda life.

I began thinking about this while listening to a new Casting Crowns song called "God of All My Days" in which a lyric just hit me in the face:

In my worry, God you are my stillness. In my searching, God you are my answer. In my blindness, God you are my vision. In my bondage, God you are my freedom. In my weakness, God you are my power.

In the rush of life, we don't always allow God to be our stillness in our fear.  We don't always let Him be the answer.  We don't let Him guide us by the hand when we can't see.  We certainly don't allow Him to free us from our bondage, and we don't rely on His power.  We're not totally severed from the vine, we just sorta hopped off for a minute.

When the stress of life overtakes us, our first response is usually to punch it down like Rocky.  

It's acting before thinking.

It's doing before understanding.

God is a God of relationship.  And as beings created in His image, we are as well.  There is a tension in that understanding that binds us together.  But sometimes the rubber band breaks.

Our culture's obsession with social media and hiding behind the superficiality of technology has caused us to lose touch with connections.  Instead of building the genuine bonds of relationship, we tether the filtered facades of selfies.  

In the midst of stress and chaos, Jesus calls

"Remain in Me."   

"Remain."    

"Be still."  

"Abide."  

So, if you are unhinged, that's okay.  We all do from time to time.  It's just not okay to stay that way.  The world needs the fruit that God created you to grow.  Abide.  Remain in Him.

Worldview Lens: Faith or Fear?

There's a rather funny moment in the classic 1991 film, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.  This is the movie where Kevin Costner plays Robin Hood and makes no attempt to speak with a British accent whatsoever.  Everyone else around him speaks the Queen's English, but nobody seems to notice or mind that Robin talks like a Yankee.  (To be fair, Christian Slater's "accent" isn't much better.)

In the film, the apparently American Robin is introduced to a crude magnifying lens, a sort of handmade telescope, by his Muslim friend  played by Morgan Freeman.  His first look through the lens at the attacking forces in the distance causes him to dramatically reach for his sword and prepare for attack as he interprets their larger image through the lens to indicate that they are right in front of him.

It's a funny moment, but also a telling illustration.  The lens we choose to see the world with will dictate the identity we embrace, the actions that we take, and the truth that we understand.

MIRROR, MIRROR

Much like our physical sight, we all look at life spiritually through a sort of lens.  The Bible likens it to a mirror in 1 Corinthians 13:12:

For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

This comes during a discourse of our finite ability to understand things.  During the course of this chapter, we're described as "knowing or understanding in part" while comparing our current state to that of "thinking like a child" until the "completeness" comes and we can understand in full.

There is no limit to who this applies to.  This applies to everyone this side of heaven.  We don't see clearly.  We can't fully understand.  And if we're not careful, we will apply the wrong lens and warp the vision that GOD has for us.

Like Robin Hood, if we don't allow someone to slap the mis-applied lens of FEAR from our eyes, we will not see things clearly.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, ELIJAH?

This was certainly true of a whining Elijah, who was focused more on his persecution and loneliness than on the provision and power of the God he served.  In 1 Kings 19:2 we see how Elijah loses hope:

Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep.

Now, Elijah's despair occurs one chapter AFTER his triumphant smackdown with the prophets of Baal.  You'd think dude would be strutting around and dabbing in the end zone.

This is not some weakling of the faith.  This isn't some helpless creature to pity.  This is Elijah.  God's man with the plan.  The one man standing against the plethora of false prophets.

Sharing this moment of Elijah's life reveals some very important truths regarding the role of fear and faith:

1.  FEAR isn't limited to weaklings.  Elijah was one of the most powerful prophets of the Old Testament.  A real man of God.  For Elijah to lose heart like this reveals that FEAR can warp the vision of any believer--and in an instant.

2.  FEAR can cause us to amplify the problems in the foreground to something larger than God.  For Elijah this was Jezebel.  The man who humiliated the prophets of Baal and demonstrated the power of God just one chapter before with such magnificent FAITH swagger and confidence, was reduced to a quivering mess because Jezebel threatened him.  In this bleak landscape, Elijah saw Jezebel as larger than his LORD.

3.  FEAR does the opposite of what FAITH would do every time.  In the previous chapter, Elijah was viewing the scene and acting out of a vision of FAITH.  His confidence was not necessarily in himself or the natural world.  His confidence was in the GOD who promises to be with us.  In this chapter, however, Elijah is hiding and praying for death.

FEAR never leads you to a productive action or decision.  It always weakens you.

It also leads to the dark side according to Yoda.

FEAR can lead to a lot of things--from depression and suicidal despair, to sickness, to immobility and spiritual, physical, and relational paralysis.  Like Peter teetering on top of the surf, our vision of CHRIST must be our guide.  Once we allow FEAR to distort the waves and wind into something more menacing than Christ is comforting, we lose the battle.

NEED VISION?  STAND IN THE PRESENCE OF GOD

There's no simple answer to combating FEAR.  It will creep up on you over and over again.  It's not something that you can just vanquish forever like Robin Hood did to the Sheriff.  There is HOPE though. In the midst of Elijah's despair, GOD stepped in in verse 11:

The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”

FAITH casts out FEAR.

LIGHT casts out DARKNESS

LOVE casts out HATE

By spending time in the presence of GOD, we can renew our strength, right our vision, and restore our path in life.  Read your Bible.  Pray.  Meet with fellow believers to discuss your situation.  Let the LIGHT of the FATHER pierce the darkness around you so that you can see clearly.  JESUS wants to set us free from the prison of FEAR.  He wants more for you.  FEAR always wants you to do the opposite of what you should do.  Be BOLD.  Walk in FAITH.

Are We There Yet? Fear's Demands on Faith

Back in my day, we didn't have all those new-fangled technologies to dull our senses and lull us into a comatose silence during long road trips.

We might--MIGHT--have had a cassette player or CD walkman, but once your batteries died (which was shortly after you left your driveway) you were left without your tunes and subjected to whatever hillbilly nonsense your parents were listening to on the car radio.

As a result, I often found myself looking for signs that we were near our destination.  Every landmark and road sign was subject to my analytical scrutiny and speculation.

It dawned on me the other day as I was thinking about the ways that FEAR has impacted my FAITH over the years that the "are we there yet" angle is one that FEAR has played a major role in.

Let me explain.

GOD's plan for our lives often invites us to interpret His motives or the deeper meaning.  Every blessing or struggle is viewed as a window into God's character and motives.  And we then begin listening to our own (often fearful) interpretative spin on things.


And as we FOCUS on the TRIVIAL we DIMINISH the ETERNAL.

Now, I'm not saying that questioning and reasoning has no place in our faith.  In the right context it is one of the ways that God grows our faith in Him.

HOWEVER, if we apply the wrong interpretations and come to the wrong conclusions, we might find ourselves fearful of a God that we define in our own failed logic.  If the obstacles in our path become larger or more significant than the One who made the path, we will have officially handed over the wheel to FEAR.

Moses had some issues here in seeing the big picture.

"What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, 'the LORD did not appear to you?'"

This is from Exodus 4 when Moses is conversing with the burning bush.  The LORD has to walk Moses through some seemingly endless scenarios as Moses inundates Him with a stream of "what if" questions that any person who wrestles with FEAR will identify with.

Now, it's easy to mock Moses' cowardice from the comfort of our living room.  Dude was literally speaking with the LORD via a burning bush.  What is there to worry about?  How could you diminish the power of God by focusing on your problems when you are standing on Holy Ground?

Simply put, Moses allowed his fear of failure to distort God's message and character.  And we do the same thing every day.

When we lose a job.

When we have a fight with a loved one.

When someone betrays us.

When terminal illness strikes our family.

When prayers go unanswered.

With his FEARS dwarfing his view of the LORD, Moses continues to throw "what if" scenarios at the great I AM.  #SMH

Finally, in Exodus 4:11 the LORD said to him, "Who gave human beings their mouths?  Who makes them deaf or mute?  Who gives them sight or makes them blind?  Is it not I, the LORD? Now go, I will help you speak and will teach you what to say."

The problem with my trying to interpret the landmarks and signs on our long road trips is that I had no idea where we were actually going and was reading into those signs and landmarks with a distorted or uninformed view of reality.

The problem with Moses was that he was reading into the future what his own fear of failure saw instead of what the LORD behind the burning bush did.

I did not, at the age of 10, know how to drive a car.  My dad did.  And yet I spent many a minute in the back seat questioning where we were going and how close we were as if I did have that knowledge.

Moses didn't yet fully understand who God was.  He was trying to figure out the entire plan at the beginning because his FEAR OF FAILURE was bigger than his FAITH.  And here's the kicker--many of the worries that Moses brings up to God did actually happen.  And God knew that they would.

But the plan wasn't necessarily that Moses would know all the details from the beginning and could trust in the plan.  It was that when the plan did go awry, he knew enough about his HEAVENLY FATHER to LEAN INTO HIM during those trials and experience a new intimacy and understanding not possible via a pre-journey lecture.

FAITH is ACTIVE, FEAR is PASSIVE.

The lens of FEAR turns the PATH that God has mapped out before us into a pothole-filled trail of terror and lead us to a life of apathy and inaction.

FEAR doesn't want you to act because in doing so, you will grow in your CONFIDENCE and FAITH in the LORD and FEAR will be weakened and diminished.

FEAR focuses on life's obstacles, FAITH focuses on the character of God.

FAITH isn't about always knowing exactly where we are going or how things will turn out, it is trusting the God who does.

This is why Moses, so terrified in Exodus 4 at the burning bush, was able to calmly rally the Israelites standing in between an advancing army and the Red Sea.  It was not because Moses suddenly had no FEAR but because HIS GOD was much larger than the "what ifs" of life.

Instead of asking if we are there yet, perhaps we should just sit back and enjoy the ride and kick FEAR to the curb.

That Egyptian Army, Though...

One of my favorite people in the Bible is Moses.

I mean his story is a story of redemption, of fighting against the powerful on behalf of the downtrodden, of submitting to God and having a front row seat at a display of His power.

It also comes with a long time of wandering around in a dry, hot desert while leading a bunch of complaining cry-babies.  To be honest, I don't know how Moses put up with his people as long as he did.  And when he is denied entering the Promised Land because he hits a rock in anger, you have to wonder as a reader how he didn't get to that level of frustration earlier, amiright?

He goes up to talk with God on the top of the mountain and comes down and the gang is dancing around a golden cow, having totally forgotten and forsaken the powerful God who has delivered them from their oppressive slavery.

It's easy from the comfort of a 2016 existence to look at such behavior and mock them for their lack of faith or consistency.

When you dig beneath the snark of how stupid and weak these people were, you actually get a realistic and gritty depiction of how stupid and weak we are.  Just like the Israelites, our HEARTS are often COATED in FEAR.

One of my favorite passages of scripture comes during the excitement of the Exodus.  Here the Israelites have left their bondage and are on the banks of the Red Sea.  A literal pillar of fire and clouds has been leading them.  They've seen countless miracles and plagues demonstrating God's power.  And they saw the most powerful leader of their day, the Egyptian Pharaoh, lose his resolve and let them go.

I mean dude was like a defiant teen with his tremendous refusal to accept reality and submit to a greater authority.  It seemed like he would never give in.  But he finally did.  And then about 10 minutes later when he realized that his slaves were gone and that he and his boys might have to lift a finger and work.  So, he gets all confederate on the Israelites and chases after his "property."

And of course the Israelites melt into a pile of cowardly goo when they see the advancing Egyptian army.  They literally start whining that it would be better to go back and be slaves then to experience freedom with God.  (Another blog post for another time but very telling on our view of "freedom" and "slavery" when it comes to our society and submission to God!) As a response, Moses gives one of the most epic statements in the entire Bible in Exodus 14:13-14:

"Moses answered the people, 'Do not be afraid.  Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today.  The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.  The LORD will fight or you; you need only to be still.'"

Be still.  The LORD will fight for you.  Stand firm.

In fact, the pillar of smoke and fire then goes between the Israelites and the Egyptians.  And the Bible tells us that one on side it brought "darkness" and to the other side it brought "light" so that neither side went near it.  God is darkness, confusion, and foolishness to those who don't trust Him.  To those who do, however, He is a shield, a protector, a LIGHT that illuminates every aspect of life and history to make sense in a way not possible to someone not open to the things of God.

And just for kicks, God threw the mighty Egyptian army into confusion.   Then Moses lifted his hands and raised his staff and God parted the Red Sea for His people to make perhaps the most dramatic exit in the history of the world.  Oh, and then he made the Red Sea crash down onto the heads of the Egyptian army as they attempted to cross.

Pretty epic, right?

It's easy to mock the folly and fear of the Israelites as nothing but foolishness.  And it was.  However, it is a foolishness that we all share in.  Whether it is the Israelites in the desert, Peter on the water, the disciples in the boat, or those of us today fretting about our family, our finances, our health, or even just whether or not people will mock us, FEAR has played a huge part in warping our conception of God.

GOD stands ready to FIGHT for you.  You literally have to do nothing but stand firm and keep focused on HIM instead of your FEAR.  An advancing Egyptian army, or a broken marriage, or a troubled son or daughter, or a broken relationship, or a financial hardship are all pretty frightening in their own way.  They ALL, however, pale in comparison to the POWER of the GOD who is FOR YOU and WHO DELIGHTS in FIGHTING FOR YOU.

Every time we allow our FEARS to shrink our view of the unfathomable SIZE and POWER of GOD,
we allow our CIRCUMSTANCES to DEFINE our FAITH as TINY and TIMID.

FAITH is the exact opposite of FEAR, and that's why FEAR works so hard to undermine it.  The larger our faith, the smaller our fear.  So as we allow our FEAR to EXPAND, our FAITH begins to rapidly DIMINISH.

Exodus 14 ends with verse 31: "And when the Israelites saw the mighty hand of the LORD displayed against the Egyptians, the people feared the LORD and put their trust in Him and in Moses his servant."

Put your trust in the GOD who sees you as a BELOVED SON or DAUGHTER.  In the GOD who is LARGER than your FEARS.  In the GOD with the UNMATCHED POWER to demolish your FEARS so that you never see them again.  Let your FEAR shrink and your FAITH expand.

Don't be captive to fear.  Embrace the freedom in God's security.

Heart GPS: Consider Your Paths

I'm a sucker for a good road trip story.  Frodo and the gang on the way to Mordor.  Luke and the gang on the way to destroy the Death Star.  Chief Brody and the gang looking for a great white shark.

In the Bible, however, we see that our hearts are often linked to a journey.

Jesus and the Bible talk about the heart a lot.  We are to guard it for some reason.  It is where our treasure is. Out of it flows our true nature.  And the peace of God will guard our heart if we lean into Him.  The heart is somewhat like a GPS for our life.

Now a GPS system is great.  We use them all the time on road trips.  And usually they are good.  Sometimes--not so much.  Ours has gotten us lost before. Especially around Washington D.C.  For some reason our GPS has no idea what roads are there or not when in the DC area.  We often end up taking some random offramp into the slums of DC and driving around in circles until we find our way back with no help from our GPS.

And of course, every time we drive near DC we say "let's try to remember what the correct road is this tie because the GPS will be wrong."  And every time, we've forgotten so we follow the GPS into the heart of DC one more time.

So the damages of past hurts, of fear and doubt, can screw up your heart's GPS system and send you meandering through places you don't want to go to.

Consider the call of wisdom in Proverbs:

"I walk in the way of righteousness, along the paths of justice, bestowing a rich inheritance on those who love me and making their treasuries full." Proverbs 8:20-21 

"The prudent keep their knowledge to themselves, but a fool’s heart blurts out folly... Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up...In the way of righteousness there is life; along that path is immortality." Proverbs 12:23,25,28

Now, as an English teacher, I enjoy a good motif.  Notice that in these verses that our life here on earth is likened to a a journey.  It's a path.  We either move on a good path that leads to life and immortality and a good inheritance or we move on a path of folly, anxiety and destruction.  If you're like me, you are probably humming "Life is a Highway" right about now.

So much can be said about how to end up on the right path, but the simplest directive can be found in Proverbs, and reiterated by Jesus in Matthew:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6 

Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ Matthew 22:37

And like most things in the Bible, those statements are tremendously profound and true, and seemingly simple to do and yet in practice they are often so very hard to do.

And there's a reason for that.  In pop culture, you pretty much know if someone is told "whatever you do, don't do (insert instruction here)" that sometime during that movie they will do that thing.  Walk off the yellow brick road.  Feed Gremlins after midnight.  Leave before the Jedi training is done.

As human beings our heart has tremendous potential for good but it is also easily ensnared in emotions and damages that war against your very soul.  The very thing that helps us to identify God and lean into Him can also be the instrument of our undoing.

And there is no quick fix.  Yes, pray early and often.  Yes, read your Bible daily.  Yes love God and love people.  And yet, there is still something askew in the inner sanctum of your heart.  And when you least expect it, it can pop up and rip you from the path you were on.

Like Michael Scott from The Office, it can direct you to drive your car into a lake.  And that can turn you into a Michael Scott rage-monster.

The truth is like those verses in Proverbs suggest, life is a journey.  Faith is a journey.  And we usually follow our heart in determining which path to take.  Oh, and SPOILER ALERT, the Bible tells us that ALL OF US will fail at some point.  That none have succeeded in this whole right path thing for the entirety of our lives.The best thing we can do is to seek God with all of our heart, mind, and strength.  If we lean into Him and not our own understanding, we increase the likelihood that we choose the path of life.  And that's because of our own heart being strengthened by proximity to God and because of the promise in Philippians 4:7:

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

There is protection for our hearts and our lives in leaning into God instead of our own understanding and emotions.  There is a reason why God's peace will guard our hearts and minds for us.  It's because we are incapable of doing it ourselves.

The fact is, you are ALWAYS on a path to somewhere. You are never STAGNANT.  You are either skipping down a PATH OF LIFE or stumbling down a PATH of DESTRUCTION.  And sometimes, like a faulty GPS, your heart can't tell the difference.  What seems right to you in that moment, later will be the right that sent you into the lake.

Consider your paths.  Guard your heart.  Seek God and lean not into yourself, your feelings, your conceptions of people, places and things.  Let God sort it out for you.  He will guide you and make your paths straight.

Heart Wounds: Fear Leaves A Mark

Recently, I said some very harsh things to someone that I love dearly.  It was a tense conversation and something that probably needed to be addressed long ago, but as the conversation progressed, I found an intense anger rise up within me.  I ended the conversation with very angry words that I regretted saying the moment they came out of my mouth.

As I continue to strip away the damage that FEAR has done to my HEART over the years, I have discovered that FEAR generally damages your HEART in THREE MAIN AREAS:

• FEAR distorts how you SEE GOD and how you RELATE to HIM.  Fear will destroy any real intimacy you have with GOD because it will prioritize other problems and things above God. It DENIES GOD access to the broken places in your HEART and stops up the access to healing.

• FEAR damages your conception of YOURSELF and breaks the God filter that allows you to see yourself as God does.  Instead you focus on how horrible you are and allow yourself to sink into depression, and into a personal spiritual and relational paralysis.  FEAR will destroy any real self-reflection of yourself and will cause you to see yourself in a skewed light.  Instead of being able to see your flaws and learn from them to get better, you will see them as unfixable messes that make you unworthy of love.

• FEAR mutates how you see OTHERS.  You will no longer see them as God sees them.  You will see their worst qualities.  You will mock them,  You will not be capable of COMPASSION because your focus is always on yourself and your own problems.  FEAR will destroy any intimacy you might have with others.  It will make them a punching bag for your own hurt heart.  

And although I've begun to break the cycle of FEAR in my own life, I've discovered that breaking free from FEAR is a lot like becoming a Christian.  Yes, you can become a Christian in an instant, but it also will take a lifetime to actually work out what that means.  In the same manner, you can break free spiritually from FEAR in an instant, but it will take time healing some of the wounds that were inflicted on your heart from that fear.

JESUS deals with this in Matthew 15:17-19:

“Don’t you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what defile a person; but eating with unwashed hands does not defile them.”

The things that come out of a person's mouth come from the heart.  And these defile them.

The focus is so often on external things, but Jesus refocuses us onto the HEART.  And the things that fly out of your mouth come from that heart.  And there's a reason.

So when you find yourself lashing out at someone and can't seem to understand why you can't control that anger, there is a reason for that.  There is an unaddressed hurt.  There is a wound that needs healing.  The same is true of others who might lash out at you.

And here's the thing--just because you've overthrown FEAR from ruling your heart, it doesn't mean that the damage is completely undone.  Just like following JESUS is a relationship that needs daily tending and leaning into Him, so does our heart need time and healing.

Too often, however, we choose to hold on to the hurts.  We don't want to let go.  We don't want to resolve it.  It's just who we are.  Deal with it.  We tell it like it is.

God's plan for you is so much bigger than that.  There's a reason that Jesus famously tells us in Matthew 6:21 that, "where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."  What you keep in your heart and refuse to let go becomes your treasure.  It's like Gollum's "precious" in the Lord of the Rings.  If your heart's treasure is not GOD, it will destroy you.

That's why God tells us in Ezekiel 36:26 that,  "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh."

GOD wants to give us a new heart.  He wants to heal us from our past hurts.  He wants to restore our view of OURSELVES, our view of HIM, and our view of OTHERS so that we can embrace the plan that He has for our lives.

For some of us, we find it impossible.  God couldn't do that.  He can't use me.  He can't heal me.  This won't ever get better.  Well, that's the wounded heart speaking within you.  That isn't the voice of God.  That's the lie of the enemy planted in the fertile soil of your wounded heart.

The truth is found in 1 John 3:20: "If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything."

GOD is greater than your heart.  LISTEN to HIM.  Pray to enjoy healing in your broken parts.  In fact, your restoration is meant to not just benefit you but also others.

American author Ernest Hemingway put it like this, "The world breaks everyone, and afterward many
are strong in the broken places."  The broken places of your HEART are fertile ground for GOD's HEALING and RESTORATION not just for you, but for the wonderful hurting folks that God will place in your path.  You will become STRONG in the BROKEN PLACES if you allow God to work.

It's my prayer for my recently revealed wounds.  These are wounds carried around by nearly 40 years of submitting to FEAR.  And these are wounds that can't be worked away.  They can only be LOVED away by the perfect and unfailing love of the FATHER.

Begin your path to healing today by allowing GOD to make you STRONGER in the BROKEN PLACES of your HEART.  FEAR has no place in your life.  You were born for a purpose.  Break free.