Of God and Volleyballs

It's your volleyballs Lord that lead to repentence...

Recently, I read through that action-packed romp through the wilderness that Moses and the gang went on after the Exodus.

In Numbers 12, Aaron and Miriam are doing what a lot of leaders do--trashing their superior. Instead of remaining in awe of God's deliverance for the Israelites or humbled by their inclusion in the high honor of leading God's people, they decided to trash Moses out of petty jealousy.

Then Miriam gets leprosy.  For some reason Aaron is spared from this.  Only Miriam is punished.  Perhaps it was out of sympathy for Aaron who had previously witnessed two of his sons devoured by fire after disrespecting the Lord.

While we don't see unruly kids incinerated in church anymore, and often don't find the church gossip consumed with a flesh-eating disease right in the midst of a juicy update, the Bible still warns us today that God will not be mocked.

When I was in high school, I was able to witness a modern day smack-down.  In gym class.

First of all, it should be stated clearly that gym class was not a favorite part of my day.  What with all of the running and sit-ups involved.

And don't get me started about the female gym teacher that made us do Paula Abdul aerobics and encouraged even the boys in the class to do push-ups on account of the "cleavage" it would help create.

But on this particular day, gym class rocked my world.

We were playing indoor volleyball (in a rare break from the Paula Abdul aerobics) and I was fortunate to be in a class with a rather portly mean girl that we will call Lindsay Lohan (LiLo for short) in order to avoid the sin of gossip.  

LiLo was mean.  She was large.  She was intimidating.  She even had a gang of gargantuan women who were all rejects from society.  Many of these "ladies" had mustaches, beards, and other unsitely blemishes gracing the surface of their faces.  Each member of the gang was frightening in her own right, but they all submitted to the menacing authority of LiLo.  

On this day, LiLo was ruling the volleyball court through her usual brutality and gang-related violence.  Then it happened.  The most amazing display of modern day smiting the Lord has ever shown me.

A volleyball careened across the gym at lightning speed towards the face of LiLo.  

All of the folks present froze and every eye was on the Amazonian gang leader. 

It was as if time and space had frozen in place and the previously chaotic insanity that is a high school gym class transformed into one long pregnant pause.

The ball had been travelling across the gym at an impressive height and began its descent at exactly the right time and angle so as to converge with LiLo's face perfectly.

The ball literally slammed directly into her face with such precision it was as if the finger of God was poking her eyes out in a moment of holy fire.

The ball didn't sorta hit part of her face.  It hit her face with such force that the ball bounced off of LiLo's face and raced back across the gym from whence it came.

I can only guess as to the reason why this mysterious volleyball chose LiLo out of the lot of us to hit in the face.  Perhaps she didn't offer the proper sacrifice.  Maybe she complained about the manna or quail. For whatever reason, LiLo's face was chosen as the bullseye for the volleyball from afar.

LiLo, of course, was not pleased.  A volleyball had questioned her absolute supremacy of the gym class and this could not stand.

And in that moment every member of her gang exploded into such hysterical laughter that no gym could contain the merriment.

Soon all of us were overtaken with such a fit of laughter that it was nearly impossible to breathe.  Vomiting and fits of asthma soon overtook many of my classmates.  There were some reports of peed pants.

LiLo began shouting and berating her gang to silence their insolent laughter and submit to her authority immediately.

It was a moment that some 15 years later continues to make me giggle.

Apparently, sometimes God needs to take us down a peg or two to get us under control.

I'm not sure that any of us will be consumed in fire like Aaron's kids or struck down with leprosy like Miriam.  I am certain, however, that many of us need to be.

Pastor Jesse Eisenhart at True North recently gave a message about character.  He made the point that our circumstances don't magically create our character out of nothing.  Daniel, he argued, was already a man of prayer and integrity before he went into captivity.  While circumstances are often used to further develop our character, they are more powerful in revealing our character as it is.

God probably isn't going to slam you in the face with a volleyball.  Then again, He might.  He does, however, do a lot of things in your everyday life that are meant to grow your faith and get your attention.

We shouldn't let ourselves get to the point of Miriam or LiLo.  As a Christian, it is so easy to continually compare yourself to others and take pride in your absolute supremacy over the folks around you in terms of spiritual growth.  That was LiLo's downfall.

Being a follower of Christ means remaining teachable and humble.  When circumstances drop into our lives like out-of-control volleyballs, it really is best to follow the Moses model.

After God intended to wipe out the Israelites, Moses interceded on their behalf with such sincerity and passion that God spared them.  This was a lesson Aaron learned after the fiery deaths of two of his sons. During their incineration, he said nothing.  After he noticed Miriam's leprosy, however, Aaron begged and pleaded for forgiveness from God.

A volleyball to the face can simply be a funny way of breaking your nose.  Or it can get your attention and lead toward spiritual growth.

The choice is yours.  Don't be another LiLo.