Understanding Depression's Lies & Finding Comfort in God's Voice

Recently our family has begun walking through a journey of a loved one dealing with depression.  In that journey, we've learned that people who are depressed can find their thinking so clouded that they believe the lies about themselves and often open up channels of voices speaking cursing into their life because it confirms the emotional feelings that they are being slowly strangled by.  And that they will then turn the volume up on those voices that confirm the mess they think they are.

In the process, they also turn down the volume of God's voice, and the voices of those speaking God's message of blessing and identity into their life.

It's a powerful captivity that Satan loves to keep people in.  If he can destroy your understanding of your identity, he can choke the abundant life that Jesus has for you right out of existence.  He can close the pathway to your purpose and eliminate the glory that your story will bring to God and the blessing it will bring to others.

To those dealing with a depressed loved one, it can often inflict emotional wounds on you as well.  We don't fully understand the hurting that the loved one is trapped in and we don't always remember to view their responses to us accordingly.

Often in our plan to help, we can become stumbling blocks or even unwitting messengers of Satan.

That's why Psalm 23 is so iconic in the faith community.  It speaks to the deeply felt truth that God doesn't always deliver us from evil, but He walks with us through the valley of the shadow of death.  He fills our cup in the company of our enemies, not after removing them.  He allows us to continue on our journey through the valley of the shadow of death, but He comforts us with His presence in every step.

We often pray that God will deliver us from circumstances of pain and suffering.  He absolutely can, and He often does.  But sometimes He doesn't.  And it's in those moments that we need to be the most intentional about turning up the volume of God's voice when everything inside of us seems to confirm that we should close the God App and start live streaming the voices of the enemy confirming our deepest fears and justifying our pain.  Walking through depression is typically a "valley of the shadow of death" kind of Psalm 23 journey.  It takes time.  It takes trust.

The same book of Psalms that contain the famous 23rd Psalm, also intentionally gives us a vivid depiction of depression in the previous chapter,  Psalm 22:

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me,
so far from my cries of anguish?
My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,
by night, but I find no rest. Or night, and am not silent
Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One;
you are the one Israel praises.Or Yet you are holy, / enthroned on the praises of Israel
In you our ancestors put their trust;
they trusted and you delivered them.
To you they cried out and were saved;
in you they trusted and were not put to shame.
But I am a worm and not a man,
scorned by everyone, despised by the people.
All who see me mock me;
they hurl insults, shaking their heads."

 "Do not be far from me, for trouble is near and there is no one to help."

"I am poured out like water,
and all my bones are out of joint.
My heart has turned to wax;
it has melted within me.
My mouth is dried up like a potsherd,
and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth;
you lay me in the dust of death."

 Those are just some excerpts, but it seems to me that they pretty vividly depict the agony of someone going through the valley of depression.  The torment.  The pain.  The distorted view of identity.  The seeming silence and distance of God.  The hopeless despair.  God understands it all.

I don't have answers.  I don't understand yet fully the journey we are on.  Reading Psalm 22 and 23 together, however, gives me greater clarity of my role and my burden to be a voice of blessing and not cursing.  It gives me greater insight into the experience of one dealing with depression.  It comforts me to know that God is in the midst of that pain, that God is walking through that pain, that God included passages like this in the Bible to show His heart and compassion for those walking through the valley of the shadow of death.  It speaks to my heart that God is good and that He is a loving Father to those shackled with the chains of depression and anguish.  It comforts me to know that Psalm 139 promises:

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

Nothing and no one is beyond the reach of a loving Father.  God is always there, reaching.  Even if we are in the pit of depression's hell, God is there.  He doesn't leave us or forsake us.  I pray and believe that on the other side of this journey our story will be one of victory and of bringing praise to God for a purpose re-found, an identity restored, and a faith expanded with the knowledge that we are who God says we are and that He delivers and sustains us and turns our mourning into dancing.  If that's you or your family, be encouraged that a loving Father sees each tear and knows each pain.

He is there.  Always.

My Boy Jackson: "I not broke down. God Made Me."

Jackson's famous pout...

Mad props to the Orange folks who are working on the First Look Curriculum!  It's making a difference in the lives of little ones like my son Jackson!

The First Look curriculum seeks to impart 3 basic truths to the wee tots entrusted to us:

God Made Me

God Loves Me

Jesus Wants To Be My Friend Forever

And my 4 year old son just demonstrated that it's catching on!

Jackson's sayings are famous around my house.  He has enthusiastically declared after watching a vintage Veggie Tales DVD that "God is bigger than the foogie man."  Multiple attempts to correct him were met with adamant denials of the existence of any such "boogie man."  The "foogie" man is his real name and slime comes out of his ears.  He was wearing his "fweatshirt" at the time of these denials.

He's also been known to ask if we are going to take a "hair cut" to get home sooner (presumably "short cut") and asked the nice lady waitress at Friendly's to put "hot vudge" on his ice cream.

This past weekend, he was playing with key chains and declared an all-consuming love of "cheese canes" which admittedly don't sound like such a bad idea to me.

And my personal favorite is his perennial answer to the question "What do you think Jackson?" which is, of course, "Yes, I do think!"   Except on bad days, when it is a sullen "No, I don't think!"

His latest addition to the Jackson Lexicon was actually a God moment from the lips of a four year old poet.  This past week, I was being my usual silly self and mangling a show-stopping song from his older sister Reagan's kindergarten "train play" in which she plays a haughty purple tiger who rebuffed cries of "please stop and help us" with a curt, "help you, I should say not!"

The song I was mangling actually goes as follows:

Please stop and help us

Please stop and help us

Please stop and help us

Our engine's broken down

My version, of course, replaced "Our engine's broken down" with "Our Jackson's broken down."

Admittedly not the most ego-boosting statement to make to your son, but a fanciful line of whimsy nonetheless.  Jackson, however, was not amused.

His angry face and pouty lips took shape as he declared, "I not broke down!  God made me!"

Now grammatical errors aside, it was a statement that made me smile.

My 4 year old knows that God made him, and as a result, that he's not a mistake, broken down, or worthless.   At his incredibly young age, thanks to the Deuteronomy 6 partnership between his parents and his church leaders, young Jackson has embraced a teaching that is so absolutely life-altering that many folks wrestle all of their lives to fathom it, much less live it.  Jackson the theologian was applying the key biblical truth from Psalm 139 to himself and  declaring (in typical Jackson-ese):

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."   Psalm 139:13-14 

That is the kind of true life change that folks working with the Orange curriculum can expect.

Teaching with an end in mind works.  Working with parents to reach this next generation to plug them into the purposes of God is an amazing blessing and privilege.  When kids like Jackson can take hold of the big boulders of faith, it's much easier for him to build his household of faith on the solid foundation of Jesus Christ.

And it's certainly more than enough to fight off the evils of the foogie man!