The Deferred Dream: A Sick Heart Becomes A Tree of Life

The poet Langston Hughes famously posed the question, "what happens to a dream deferred?"  He used some very gross imagery in trying to capture the impact on the heart of someone hoping for their dream to come true.  Words and phrases like "dry up like a raisin in the sun," "fester like a sore" "stink like rotten meat" and "sags like a heavy load" capture the deflating, debilitating, and outright draining impact that a deferred dream can have on a person.

The Bible puts it this way, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life," (Proverbs 13:12).  A sick heart can be the epicenter of a destroyed and broken life.  It is the battleground for the control of our very lives.  For that reason, the Bible actually talks about the heart a lot.  We are to not let our heart be troubled.  Mary treasured the things of God in her heart.  Out of our heart comes a great deal of wickedness.  Hardness of heart closes us off to God and our fellow man.  A soft heart that focuses on the things of God is often sought after.  As Christians we are supposed to "have Jesus in our hearts."


The Bible clearly refers to the heart as the core of our being.  It shapes how we see God, the world, ourselves, and others.  How we feel in our hearts can radically alter our path in life.  And that's why the Bible repeatedly urges us to guard our hearts.

And so deferring a dream has a tremendous impact on a person's life because it makes a heart sick.

For our family, we have waited 8 years for a dream to be realized.  For the past 8 years, we have wanted to move to the Atlanta area of Georgia.  It's something that I can't really explain to most people.  Having lived my entire life in New Jersey, my wife and I visited Georgia for the first time 8 years ago to see Andy Stanley's North Point Community Church and tour their children's facilities as a part of the program we do with our church up here.  We loved the church and instantly wanted to attend it, but we also felt at home in the Atlanta area.  We began thinking about moving.  From almost the moment of our first visit, we have talked endlessly of our desire to live there.  We've felt unsettled, uncertain, and uneasy living in New Jersey.  And that's not to say we didn't enjoy ourselves in New Jersey.  We have people here that we love dearly.  We always try to make every event an adventure with our family.  It's just that we felt out of place.  Our DREAM was something other than the Garden State.

Every summer as we traveled to the Atlanta area to visit, we once again had that love of the area re-ignited.  And over the years there have been job opportunities that just didn't pan out.  A few times we really thought that I was going to get the job and at the last minute it fell through.

Over the course of those 8 years, our hearts were sick.  They were heavy.  They were sagging with disappointment and a sadness that was just life-draining.

After 8 years, however, that door has now opened.  I've accepted a job in Georgia and we will be moving to the Atlanta area this summer.  We have now transitioned from the "sick heart" portion of Proverbs 13:12 to the "tree of life" phase.  And in the short week since we received the news, we have begun to say our good-byes and make plans for our new life in Georgia.  It's a time of mixed emotions, but it's a time of great HOPE and ANTICIPATION.

Ironically, we were just about to give up on our Georgia dreams when the job offer came through.  In other words, we were about to settle for "good enough."  So often in our lives we embrace mediocrity because we are afraid to pursue a dream.  We are afraid to leave our comfort zone.  We are afraid to really rely on God because secretly we don't believe that He will come through.

Our move to Georgia will not be without drama.  It's going to be hard to say our good-byes and find a place to live in the short amount of time that we have.  There will be those, intentionally or unintentionally, who will attempt to discourage us or steal our joy.  After 8 years of waiting, however, we have learned not to lean onto our own understanding, but rather to trust in the divine direction sprawling out before us. When God opens a path before you, it would be foolish not to follow.

And a dream fulfilled being equated to a "tree of life" in Proverbs makes a lot of sense.  Trees, like people, go through phases.  There are times of death and hardship during the winter, and times of great vibrancy and life in the spring and winter.  And trees, like people, need to be connected to their source.  Without roots, the trees will die.  Having our dream to move to Georgia delayed by 8 years has forced us to deepen our connection to Christ and has strengthened our faith.

As we begin this new adventure in our lives, we find ourselves strengthened, encouraged, and hopeful for the plans that are laid before us.  Deferred dreams can seem like a death sentence, but if you hold on long enough to see their arrival, you will see HOPE in its purest form.