So, I recently re-read the book of Judges. And it was really judgmental of me, I know, but I've decided that I'm not a big fan of Samson. He's kind of like the Old Testament Charlie Sheen. I can imagine him in full-on wide-eyed crazy, shouting "Winning" as he canoodles with the latest "goddess" of the week.
And yet somehow this Charlie Sheen doppleganger is one of the great judges of Israel. Judge Judy he is not.
First of all, it should be noted that Judges is a book full of weirdos. It reads almost like a cutting edge satire that God has written to poke fun at how ill-equipped we are to govern ourselves.
There are exceptions. I dig the Deborah story. She was awesome. I also like how the big bad military leader Barak (Obama?) won't go to battle without Deborah in a keen observation of the power of God's anointed! It's also real nice and Old Testamenty in its judgment and wrath when the bad guy takes a nap and has a tent peg driven into his temple by...a woman!
I also enjoy Deborah being the leader because she helps give my daughter someone to look up to.
I do also like Judge Ehud smiting the fat king in Judges 2:
"16 Now Ehud had made a double-edged sword about a foot and a half long, which he strapped to his right thigh under his clothing. 17 He presented the tribute to Eglon king of Moab, who was a very fat man... 20 Ehud then approached him [the king] while he was sitting alone in the upper room of his summer palace and said, "I have a message from God for you." As the king rose from his seat, 21 Ehud reached with his left hand, drew the sword from his right thigh and plunged it into the king's belly. 22 Even the handle sank in after the blade, which came out his back. Ehud did not pull the sword out, and the fat closed in over it. 23 Then Ehud went out to the porch; he shut the doors of the upper room behind him and locked them. 24 After he had gone, the servants came and found the doors of the upper room locked. They said, "He must be relieving himself in the inner room of the house." 25 They waited to the point of embarrassment, but when he did not open the doors of the room, they took a key and unlocked them. There they saw their lord fallen to the floor, dead."
I've taken the liberty of bolding the portions that entertain me the most. So, Ehud made a blade that was a foot and a half long that totally disappeared into the fat of the Biggest Loser contestant Moabite king. I love how he just kills him and then slips away, leaving a humongous dead dude rotting on his throne. I further love how the king's attendants think he's relieving himself and don't go in for a long time, beyond "the point of embarrassment."
I mean, this is epic. This is an Old Testament smiting done right. Not quite on the same level as Elisha having bears maul mockers of his baldness, but right up there with the best.
Then there is the famously indecisive Gideon who needs about a thousand reminders of God's power. He did play a mean horn that Gideon, but decisiveness seemed to elude him. Ain't that just like us? And by "just like us" I don't mean awesome bugle playing or the age old debate of dry vs. saturated fleeces and the mysterious workings of morning dew. I'm more thinking of the many times that God speaks, confirms and re-confirms to us something from His Word that we keep refusing to fully believe. (Side note: Aren't you shocked that an English teacher just used "ain't"?)
There is also father of the year Jephthah who recklessly makes a vow to God that he'll kill whatever he sees next and then mournfully goes on to sacrifice his virgin daughter to fulfill that vow. Yikes. Consider that a lesson on being careful with how you speak and how you sport with the lives of your little ones. Your careless priorities, vows and words can cause the death of your children.
The book ends with the story about an "unnamed Levite" who is so offended at the animalistic wicked men who raped and tortured his concubine that he cut her up in pieces and sent a bloody piece of her to all of the areas of Israel. Again with the Old Testament justice. Again a disturbing picture of the debased and immoral condition of mankind and a kinda weird way to show it. No wonder "unnamed Levite" asked them to withhold his name from the story, as he kinda sounds like a serial killer himself.
There is also a gaggle of other "he judged Israel for such and such a year and then he died" judges mentioned as well, but no judge is more famous than Samson.
Explain why it is we look up to him?
Samson's parents dedicate him to being a Nazirite, meaning he never cuts his hair and he devotes his life to serving the Lord (among other things.) And yet, his life is a dismal failure in so many ways.
I get that Samson is pretty impressive in the areas of killing people with a donkey jawbone, eating honey out of the carcass of a lion that he recently killed, and tying fox tails together and having them run around with a torch in between them to burn the town down. I also understand that he pretty awesomely pushed down the pillars and made a building collapse on himself and the Phillistines. I'm just thinking that his heart wasn't that often focused on the things of God, particularly for a "judge" of Israel who is supposed to be serving the Lord and all. His story is more of an example of what no to do in your walk with the Lord.
God uses Samson's Phillistine wife as a motivation to get him into smiting season with 30 or so of those whily Phillistines. (Will they ever learn?) His first wife betrays him to her peeps in a pretty obvious way. And even after that, Samson attempts to "go into her room"and is horrified to find out that pooky-bear has been given away to one of his pals. I think we can guess what he wanted to do in her room and it wasn't Scrabble. Then in Gaza, Samson "saw a prostitute" and "went in to spend the night with her." (Judges 16:1) He gets away from that situation only to fall in love with deceitful Delilah.
There is no mention of marriage, and yet again Samson seems to be sleeping with the salty lass.
In between their loving embraces, somehow old Samson doesn't seem to catch on that all she ever wants to talk about is how to get rid of his strength.
He also doesn't seem to figure out that every single time he tells her some whopper about how to get rid of his power, miraculously the local Phillistines come charging in with just that type of weaponry.
Seven fresh thongs? Check. Tied with new ropes? Check. Weaving seven braids of his head into the fabric on the loom and tightening it with a pin? Check.
He even eventually tells her the truth and his head is shaved and his power is gone. Dude even has his eyes gouged out.
Samson's actions make our most embarrassing televangelist sex scandals look tame in comparison. His life was one of self-destruction and lust. I'm sure some people love them some Samson, but I'm not a big fan. I'm just not sure why he is someone worth looking up to.
Samson's story is more of a cautionary tale of what not to do. The next time you are tempted to do something exciting like eat honey out of a dead lion carcass, don't. It's just not worth it.
A little less of Samson, and a little more of Deborah might be in order for our leaders. Maintaining your walk with the Lord and making wise choices is really about the condition of your heart. If you don't guard it, it will be taken by force by the usurping power of sin. That is a lesson Samson never really seemed to understand.
What are your thoughts on the muscled judge?
UPDATE: My wife informs me that she was always taught the Samson story as a cautionary tale of what not to do. Kudos on that. I grew up with him being taught as one of the heroes of the faith for all of his feats of strength. Apparently not everyone taught him as such!
And yet somehow this Charlie Sheen doppleganger is one of the great judges of Israel. Judge Judy he is not.
First of all, it should be noted that Judges is a book full of weirdos. It reads almost like a cutting edge satire that God has written to poke fun at how ill-equipped we are to govern ourselves.
There are exceptions. I dig the Deborah story. She was awesome. I also like how the big bad military leader Barak (Obama?) won't go to battle without Deborah in a keen observation of the power of God's anointed! It's also real nice and Old Testamenty in its judgment and wrath when the bad guy takes a nap and has a tent peg driven into his temple by...a woman!
I also enjoy Deborah being the leader because she helps give my daughter someone to look up to.
I do also like Judge Ehud smiting the fat king in Judges 2:
"16 Now Ehud had made a double-edged sword about a foot and a half long, which he strapped to his right thigh under his clothing. 17 He presented the tribute to Eglon king of Moab, who was a very fat man... 20 Ehud then approached him [the king] while he was sitting alone in the upper room of his summer palace and said, "I have a message from God for you." As the king rose from his seat, 21 Ehud reached with his left hand, drew the sword from his right thigh and plunged it into the king's belly. 22 Even the handle sank in after the blade, which came out his back. Ehud did not pull the sword out, and the fat closed in over it. 23 Then Ehud went out to the porch; he shut the doors of the upper room behind him and locked them. 24 After he had gone, the servants came and found the doors of the upper room locked. They said, "He must be relieving himself in the inner room of the house." 25 They waited to the point of embarrassment, but when he did not open the doors of the room, they took a key and unlocked them. There they saw their lord fallen to the floor, dead."
I've taken the liberty of bolding the portions that entertain me the most. So, Ehud made a blade that was a foot and a half long that totally disappeared into the fat of the Biggest Loser contestant Moabite king. I love how he just kills him and then slips away, leaving a humongous dead dude rotting on his throne. I further love how the king's attendants think he's relieving himself and don't go in for a long time, beyond "the point of embarrassment."
I mean, this is epic. This is an Old Testament smiting done right. Not quite on the same level as Elisha having bears maul mockers of his baldness, but right up there with the best.
Then there is the famously indecisive Gideon who needs about a thousand reminders of God's power. He did play a mean horn that Gideon, but decisiveness seemed to elude him. Ain't that just like us? And by "just like us" I don't mean awesome bugle playing or the age old debate of dry vs. saturated fleeces and the mysterious workings of morning dew. I'm more thinking of the many times that God speaks, confirms and re-confirms to us something from His Word that we keep refusing to fully believe. (Side note: Aren't you shocked that an English teacher just used "ain't"?)
There is also father of the year Jephthah who recklessly makes a vow to God that he'll kill whatever he sees next and then mournfully goes on to sacrifice his virgin daughter to fulfill that vow. Yikes. Consider that a lesson on being careful with how you speak and how you sport with the lives of your little ones. Your careless priorities, vows and words can cause the death of your children.
The book ends with the story about an "unnamed Levite" who is so offended at the animalistic wicked men who raped and tortured his concubine that he cut her up in pieces and sent a bloody piece of her to all of the areas of Israel. Again with the Old Testament justice. Again a disturbing picture of the debased and immoral condition of mankind and a kinda weird way to show it. No wonder "unnamed Levite" asked them to withhold his name from the story, as he kinda sounds like a serial killer himself.
There is also a gaggle of other "he judged Israel for such and such a year and then he died" judges mentioned as well, but no judge is more famous than Samson.
Explain why it is we look up to him?
Samson's parents dedicate him to being a Nazirite, meaning he never cuts his hair and he devotes his life to serving the Lord (among other things.) And yet, his life is a dismal failure in so many ways.
I get that Samson is pretty impressive in the areas of killing people with a donkey jawbone, eating honey out of the carcass of a lion that he recently killed, and tying fox tails together and having them run around with a torch in between them to burn the town down. I also understand that he pretty awesomely pushed down the pillars and made a building collapse on himself and the Phillistines. I'm just thinking that his heart wasn't that often focused on the things of God, particularly for a "judge" of Israel who is supposed to be serving the Lord and all. His story is more of an example of what no to do in your walk with the Lord.
God uses Samson's Phillistine wife as a motivation to get him into smiting season with 30 or so of those whily Phillistines. (Will they ever learn?) His first wife betrays him to her peeps in a pretty obvious way. And even after that, Samson attempts to "go into her room"and is horrified to find out that pooky-bear has been given away to one of his pals. I think we can guess what he wanted to do in her room and it wasn't Scrabble. Then in Gaza, Samson "saw a prostitute" and "went in to spend the night with her." (Judges 16:1) He gets away from that situation only to fall in love with deceitful Delilah.
There is no mention of marriage, and yet again Samson seems to be sleeping with the salty lass.
In between their loving embraces, somehow old Samson doesn't seem to catch on that all she ever wants to talk about is how to get rid of his strength.
He also doesn't seem to figure out that every single time he tells her some whopper about how to get rid of his power, miraculously the local Phillistines come charging in with just that type of weaponry.
Seven fresh thongs? Check. Tied with new ropes? Check. Weaving seven braids of his head into the fabric on the loom and tightening it with a pin? Check.
He even eventually tells her the truth and his head is shaved and his power is gone. Dude even has his eyes gouged out.
Samson's actions make our most embarrassing televangelist sex scandals look tame in comparison. His life was one of self-destruction and lust. I'm sure some people love them some Samson, but I'm not a big fan. I'm just not sure why he is someone worth looking up to.
Samson's story is more of a cautionary tale of what not to do. The next time you are tempted to do something exciting like eat honey out of a dead lion carcass, don't. It's just not worth it.
A little less of Samson, and a little more of Deborah might be in order for our leaders. Maintaining your walk with the Lord and making wise choices is really about the condition of your heart. If you don't guard it, it will be taken by force by the usurping power of sin. That is a lesson Samson never really seemed to understand.
What are your thoughts on the muscled judge?
UPDATE: My wife informs me that she was always taught the Samson story as a cautionary tale of what not to do. Kudos on that. I grew up with him being taught as one of the heroes of the faith for all of his feats of strength. Apparently not everyone taught him as such!
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