Kidmin Volunteers: Make It Better!

Family ministries have an untapped resource to grow their ministry and expand their vision:  their volunteers.

The staff leadership of family ministry wear many hats.  Most of the time, they are overseeing multiple age groups (pre-school, elementary, middle school, and high school ministries are often combined at least partially) or multiple environments (small group rooms, large group production, guest services, etc.)  They also have a list longer than there are hours in the day of things that they, as leaders, are ultimately responsible for--recruiting, training, scheduling, curriculum production and distribution, security, guest services, production, technical support, materials wrangling, vision-casting, communicating with senior staff/other ministry leaders/volunteers/families, event planning, managing staff disagreements, and overseeing/implementing special needs ministry services--just to name a few.

You didn’t think they just showed up on Sundays and barked out the orders, did you?

And the sad fact is that too many leaders get burned out because they are taking on too many responsibilities, either because they are assigned too many, they lack delegation skills, or nobody else has agreed to help.  There are ways, however, that you as a volunteer can make things better.

In fact, every single member of the team bears responsibility for leading your ministry.  Every.  Single. One.  

In other words--you.

MAKE IT BETTER

Andy Stanley, the lead pastor of North Point Community Church, always tells volunteers that they should all work to “make it better.”  It’s what Sue Miller and Adam Duckworth would call “being owners not renters” in your volunteer role.  Instead of being threatened by new ideas or suggestions from volunteer staff, the North Point staff embraces suggestions and rewards ingenuity in making things go from good to great.   Not all organizations are like that, and the church seems to have a particular affinity for maintaining the status quo. In virtually every decision an organization makes, there is a tension between maintaining the status quo of how it’s currently being done and the energy of much needed change to serve our families better.  If we’re serious about reaching the next generation, we need to be willing to embrace change and join the new thing that Jesus is doing now.

Too often even leaders in family ministry who want to go to the next level are trapped into maintaining the status quo because of the “tyranny of the urgent” in their job--the day-to-day, week-to-week to-do list that usurps all of their time and energy, severely limiting or sidelining plans to make it better or grow the vision.  

As someone who has served as a staff member overseeing children’s ministry and who currently serves as a volunteer for Upstreet, I can tell you that staff members generally LOVE volunteers that help them MAKE IT BETTER and that you will rarely meet a staff leader who feels like they have tackled everything they need to in order to advance the ministry.  There’s always something that got sidelined due to lack of time or resources and that is usually a source of frustration for the vision-casting leader tasked with elevating the family ministry game to the next level.

WHOM SHALL I SCHEDULE?

Those crazy volunteers who would never say, “that’s not my job” but rather great every challenge with “how can I help?” are like manna from heaven to our personal ministry.

A challenge that most staff members leading family ministry have is when to ask volunteers to add to their duties and when not to.  The temptation once we find a reliable volunteer who brings value to the team is to ask them to do more.  There is, however, always that nagging fear that we will ask too much of them and burn them out.  It’s a constant mental balancing act.

So, here’s an idea:  If you are an “owner” as a volunteer--don’t wait to be asked.  Go to your staff leadership and tell them you are ready for more.  Share your heart.  What is it in your ministry that moves you the most?  That’s likely the area that God has appointed for you and probably an area your ministry needs help with.  You may be the blessing that allows your leadership to take the ministry to the next level.

IF YOU SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING...BUT IN THE RIGHT AUDIENCE

Andy Stanley also advises volunteers that “if you see something, say something.”  If you, as a committed volunteer, see something that could stand improving--tell your leadership about it and give them your idea for improving it.  And if you don’t have an idea, maybe spend some time in prayer about it before addressing it to see if God gives you wisdom on how to make it better.

You do run the risk of alienating your leader if they take this as a threat to their leadership or an undermining of their authority.  And some leaders who are not self-aware or secure in their position might see your suggestion this way.  One way to ensure that they take your idea the right way is to know your audience and your own limitations.  Take your legitimate concerns to your leaders privately.  Let them know that you are willing to help make it better.  Give them suggestions for what you’d like to do.  You might open your leaders eyes to something that they didn’t see, lead to a larger conversation about how to improve this area of your ministry, or give you the opportunity to take ownership of your role.  

CONFESSIONS OF A FORMER STAFF LEADER TURNED VOLUNTEER:

1. Leaders need help and support.  They need encouragement.  They need PRAYER. Don’t make the job of growing your ministry all fall on their shoulders.  It’s not all their responsibility.  Do your part or they will get burnt out and you will all suffer.
2. Leaders, more often than not, will listen to you if you are an “owner” who has demonstrated your commitment to the ministry.  Are you an “owner” in your role?  Do you go above and beyond or do you show up unprepared and sleepwalk your way through your duty?  
3. Leaders and volunteers should always be improving themselves.  Don’t stop growing and don’t refuse to learn.  You may have been involved in family ministry since the dawn of time.  Guess what?  Kids are different now.  Learn about them.  Find out what you don’t know about today’s generation and how that might impact your approach. The good folks at Orange have a gaggle of resources for you on that front as well as awesome training conferences and tour stops.  There are also great podcasts, blogs, books, and social media encouragement from leaders like Nick Blevins, Jarrid Wilson, Chase Snyder, Corey Ray Jones & others who constantly share their best practices, their wisdom, and their resources with family ministry leaders.  Connect with them.  
4. LISTEN.  Both leaders and volunteers need to listen.  Don’t allow emotion or insecurity to rob you of progress.  It might hurt your feelings, but if it’s coming from a good place, consider it, pray over it and see if maybe, just maybe, there might be some truth to it.

Imagine what a difference would be made in your ministry, your church and your community, if you chose every day to make it better by being an owner, sharing your ideas, and supporting your leaders and team!  It’s my prayer for 2017 that family ministry volunteers would be emboldened to take a larger role in their ministry and that our leaders would feel the love and support that they are due!  That ownership of serving will radiate through our families and our community.

Activate A Child's Faith: Every Kid Needs a Champion

Every kid needs a champion.

In nearly fifteen years of teaching in a public high school, and ten years of leading children’s ministry at church, I’ve had a wide range of experience.  From pre-school to graduating seniors, I’ve been involved in every phase through either my church life or my work life.  Being the father of three kids also helps.

And one truth that is undeniable throughout my years of experience is this--kids need a champion.

The children and teens that I’ve worked with who have been the most successful in achieving success have been those who had a champion rooting for them, encouraging them, and helping guide them through the minefield of life.

While this concept of a champion is not necessarily a shocking revelation, it is unfortunately far less common than it should be.

And in the age of social media, true authentic relationships are often drying up and replaced by the fake, surface level digital facades.  

Psychologists will tell you that human beings have a deep need of community and a sense of belonging.  And studies are showing that social media is having the opposite effect.  While we might know more about our friends and acquaintances (like what they ate for dinner!) we KNOW them less.  We know more about the life events big and small, but less of their heart.  And the inevitable comparisons contained in the filters, platforms, and messaging of the various social media platforms can have a tremendous hindering impact on our self-esteem creating depression and isolation.

Today’s generation is the first to be truly immersed in digital citizenship from birth on.  Toddlers are playing games on tablets and young kids are making duckfaces for selfies.  

By contrast, I had a pager during college so that I could call you from a pay phone if you really needed to get ahold of me and my computer made weird squawking bird sounds when it took about 20 minutes to connect to the internet.  

Children today are growing up in a world where learning how to develop an authentic relationship is a skill that they have very limited practice with.  And with the central role that relationship plays in activating an authentic faith, that’s dangerous ground.

That’s why kids need a CHAMPION.

GENERATIONAL FAITH: PAUL & TIMOTHY

The book of 2 Timothy is a great picture of a godly mentorship.  The older Paul is writing to his younger colleague in the ministry to encourage him.  And everything about the passage speaks to relationship.  In chapter 1, Paul reminds Timothy that it was because of his grandmother and mother than he came to faith and that Timothy is but the latest generation in a link of faith.  He encourages Timothy to continue in the faith and activate the faith of the next generation by investing in them as his mom and grandmother did for him.  

Then Paul CHAMPIONS Timothy to stay in the faith and contend for the faith.  He also reminds him of the example of his own life:

“You, however, know all about my teaching, my way of life, my purpose, faith, patience, love, endurance, 11persecutions, sufferings—what kinds of things happened to me in Antioch, Iconium and Lystra, the persecutions I endured. Yet the Lord rescued me from all of them.” 2 Timothy 3:10-11

Paul didn’t just teach Timothy theology.  He showed up.  Big time.  He modeled an authentic faith.  He walked through the doubts and persecution with him.  He was a CHAMPION for Timothy.

WHAT ABOUT PARENTS?

Parents are the biggest influence (present or absent) in their child’s life.  Period.  

They are uniquely positioned to influence their child in positive or negative ways through their relationship, their habits, their personality, their words, and their example.  They have the greatest capacity for being a CHAMPION of their own children.

Parents can’t always be that champion for every stage, however.  For example, during the teenage phase, kids are much more willing to share things with other leaders, mentors, teachers, and coaches rather than their own parents.  It’s just reality.  And it’s a reality that my wife and I are learning now that our oldest is in high school.  Parents need to be intentional about establishing those kinds of relationships with adults who will reinforce what they would say to their child if they could.  Churches need to be intentional about providing them with “Pauls” for this very purpose.

WARMTH & CONSISTENCY

Being a champion doesn’t necessarily mean being the coolest and most trendy old person on the scene.  It just means showing up with a willingness to engage.

That’s why most children’s ministries are now embracing a small group-based model with a consistent leader who will show up every week in the life of their few.  When you “lead small” you are actually making a big impact.  Churches have for many years just tossed whatever unwitting fool was standing in the doorway into their children’s and student’s ministry environments.  They’ve been willing to schedule folks around their convenience and only ask for a limited commitment or sporadic scheduling for fear of not having enough volunteers.

Our kids deserve better.  As Reggie Joiner says, “never put the needs of an adult above the heart of a child.”

Having a consistent adult in their lives will provide them with the safe place to share their doubts and questions about their faith, and allow them to have someone other than their parents that knows them.  This is tremendously important to developing a vibrant faith that they can own and activate in their daily life.

I would guess that most of my former students would probably not remember a great deal of the specific lessons that I taught.  (Although our games of Survivor were pretty epic during the Lord of the Flies unit, and I’m not sure they will ever discard the importance of color symbolism after our enthralling chats on The Great Gatsby.)  I do think that I’m a good communicator and teacher. But if I’m honest, the most meaningful impact that I’ve made in the lives of the kids entrusted to me has not been academic.  It’s been relational.  What does last, hopefully, is how I made them feel and how I helped spark their belief in themselves or their curiosity in their purpose.  Hopefully during our time together, they knew that I was there to cheer them on to success.

Each person is unique and uniquely gifted.  Each person has a temperament and learning style that differs from their peers.  The “one size fits all” approach to education or developing an authentic faith in Jesus never works, but the one consistent factor is RELATIONSHIP.   

Here’s what I know:

1. CHILDREN ARE NOT ALL THE SAME--even within families--so no approach or model can be applied exactly the same to every child in exactly the same way.  What works with one child, doesn’t work with another.  It takes RELATIONSHIP to understand that and employ the right approach.
2. CIRCUMSTANCES DEMAND FLEXIBILITY--there will be times in that child’s life where the circumstances of life (family dysfunction, dealing with the death of a loved one, personal relationships, substance abuse, depression, bullying, etc.) overshadow what the lesson plan for the day is.  A champion will recognize this and use the circumstances to help grow the child in some way.   That doesn’t always mean teaching.  Sometimes it means just showing up and being present.  During a particularly challenging day in my teaching career, we had a student killed in a car accident which several other students were involved in (as drivers and passengers.)  Most of the school day was spent standing in the hallway with students collapsing into uncontrolled sobbing masses.  We didn’t teach academics that day.  We didn’t try to talk them through it.  We did the only thing we could--grabbed a box of tissues, hugged desperately hurting students, modeled love and support during a time of intense tragedy.  The same is true in growing faith.  God often uses circumstances in our lives to grow our faith.  A consistent leader will be able to pour into our kids during those times when they really need it--and be fully aware of the backstory and bigger picture in that child’s life to help them gain perspective later on.
3. GENERATIONS ARE NOT ALL THE SAME--growing up today are not the same as kids growing up in the 1990s, or the 1980s, or the 1970s, or any decade prior to that.  If we want to influence them and their faith, we need to get to KNOW THEM.  Consistency is key in that.  As Reggie Joiner says, “you can’t influence someone you don’t know.”

It’s the job of the church to partner with families to ensure that every child has a CHAMPION.  

And how can you be a champion?  It doesn’t require training, or academic finesse.  It doesn’t hinge on your communication skills.  It’s as simple as this:

1. Show up.
2. Care deeply.
3. Listen intently.
4. Pray fervently.
5. Know them genuinely.
6. Impart truth regularly.
7. Model faith authentically.
8. Encourage liberally.

When you show up to be a CHAMPION in the life of a child, you are changing the course of a life, the destiny of a family, and the reality of future generations.  It’s worth it.  Show up.

Involved in student ministry?  Children’s ministry?  Teaching?  What are some of the ways that you’ve SHOWN UP to be a CHAMPION for your entrusted few?  How have you LED SMALL?