Toilet Paper. Oh Toilet Paper.

Missionary Lesson #1

If toiletries could talk...

I remember it well.

The first time I was in a group being taught how to throw toilet paper away.

Why the lesson? Can't you just drop it in the toilet and flush? Oh no my friends, we are outside of the United States now. This isn't Kansas anymore....this is Guatemala. Our plumbing is quite different. We've heard horror stories of how the narrow cement pipes in our charming colonial town date back to before America was even born and how many earthquakes have caused the pipes to shift trapping helpless toilet paper on these rough cement edges, thus backing the whole thing up and creating a glorious disaster.

I've seen them rip apart the cobble stone streets of Antigua to fix pipes that are backed up. It isn't pretty.

I imagine the Guatemalan workers saying something to the effect of, "d*#n gringos. why can't they just throw out their toilet paper like the rest of us?"

 Oh Guatemala I love you.

"So you are going to take your used toilet paper and fold it in half. Now fold it in half again. and again. So all you see is...white. Throw it away in the small trash can next to the toilet."

Your careless flushing could cause this...

A sea of questions usually follow:  

"WAIT WHAT???"

"Doesn't it, well you know... stink?"

"Um, that's gross, what if you forget and flush it anyway?"

"Ewwww, why?"

"Is that what you have to do at your house?"

The teenage boys on teams think it's awesome. The girls think it's awful. The adults on teams usually come up to me as I'm sitting down for dinner and quietly confess they forgot and flushed it anyway.  It usually helps to serve as a nice side dish to the evening's meal.  Who among us doesn't want to hear about something you wiped your rear end on while trying to eat dinner?

So now I've been giving these same talks for 8 years and I always chuckle as I watch the various reactions.

"Yes, it does smell, but don't stick your nose in the trash can and you'll survive. We empty the trash every day."

"If you forget and drop it in, go get a stick and fish the sopping mess out of the water and throw it away."

"If you flush it, the world will not end, nor will Guatemala cease to exist, but try not to forget."

"And yes, that's what I do at my house and I've lived to talk and now blog about it."

One thing I rarely say is "Oh yeah, I forget sometimes too, and before i know it....flushhhhhhhhh. oops. sorry Guatemala."

My question is why are we so embarrassed to talk about our...(fill in your favorite word for feces.)
Why is it that even though it happens to all of us, we like to pretend it doesn't. Everyone's (insert same word here) stinks. Let's call a spade a spade.  Or a poop a poop, if you will.

More importantly why are we embarrassed to share the truth about the things we struggle with?  Why do we think we are the only one struggling with it- whether it's gossip or cheating or lying or lust  or pornography or jealousy or pride or judgment or....well the list goes on and on.

Galatians 6:2 says "Share each other's burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ."

Imagine a situation where you could be totally honest with someone. You could share with them what you are struggling with and they...and here's the the key....would NOT judge you. What would happen if instead judgement, you were given grace?

One of the most freeing things happened to me this July. Two very good friends were visiting me in Guatemala, and one night we were talking about things that have difficult for us in our walk. I shared something with them. I flinched as soon as the words left my mouth expecting them to gasp in judgement. You know the gasp, you probably did it last time someone shared gossip disguised as a prayer request. However, instead of judgement, they responded in love. It was beautiful. It was freeing. It's been an encouragement to me in so many ways. I want other people to have the same freedom.

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." James 5:16

The best part about being honest is that God is so faithful and loving to forgive us completely.

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John1:9

So. Let's start with us. You and Me. Let's be real. If you need to cry. Let's cry. If you need to yell, God can handle it. If you need to confess, I won't judge. I will pray with you. Encourage you. Keep you accountable. All I ask you to do the same for me. If I'm not the person in your life then find that person. And let the freedom to be real flow.

This could change life as we know it...

"Sarah Laughed..."

I'm currently re-reading the Bible in 90 days thanks to the lovely folks at YouVersion who designed quite a few Bible reading plans that you can read on your Blackberry.  I read through the Bible from Genesis to Revelation from late June to late September, and I've decided to work through it again.

I tell you this, of course,  to demonstrate how much more spiritual I am than you.

Just kidding.  (But admit it, you were both fired up into judgmental rage against me and simultaneously shamed into picking up your Bible!)

So, I'm re-reading Genesis now and I have a few observations...

First of all, those Old Testament Genesis folks were crazy.

I mean what with all the incest (Lot's daughters getting Daddy drunk so that they can sleep with him) and the "spilling of a man's seed" and sleeping with presumed prostitutes (see also harlots) in Judah's family, the book of Genesis alone has several eerily similar plotlines to Jersey Shore.  Although, admittedly, none of the folks in the book can rock a spray tan like Snookie and "GTL" is never actually mentioned in scripture.

So, one story I just re-read was the story of Abraham and Sarah.  What a faithful couple!

Of course, while waiting for God's promised child to them, Abe and Sarah got impatient.  Sarah, thinking God needed help, seriously handed off her servant Hagar to sleep with her husband, which is a little weird.  Imagine going to your small group (circle of friends, reality group, life group, whatever cool and trendy name you have now applied to a regular Bible study among friends) and having the infertile couple you've been praying for offer up the following:

"Yeah, so we decided that since we aren't getting pregnant that God wants my husband to sleep with the house-cleaner.  We figure that since we can't have kids together, he might as well get her pregnant.  And since she's an illegal alien, it will provide her with an anchor baby, so it's a win-win.  Go God!"

You'd probably give your spouse some knowing looks that say "we are so talking about this in the car on the way home and then later to everyone we know under the guise of a 'prayer request' so as to avoid gossiping!"

It just is a little bit off.

But of course so is the idea of two geezers having a baby when they should be focusing on changing their own diapers.

So, while that has always struck me as weird, I guess I understand that whole not wanting to wait for God and trying to fix things my way approach to faith.

In Genesis 18:10 the LORD promises the following:

10 "I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son."

And we also learn here that, "Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him.  Abraham and Sarah were already old and well advanced ("stricken in age" in the KJV) in years, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing."

So the LORD makes a promise to Abraham that makes no sense.  Abraham listens intently and probably harbors some confusion and doubt, but it is Sarah that steals the spotlight:

"12  So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, 'After I am worn out and my master is old, will I now have this pleasure?'"

I happen to think that laughing is a good thing.  It expresses joy and is medicine to the soul.  However, probably not laughing at God.  I'm sure Sarah didn't mean to be disrespectful to God, but rather was just so overtaken with the lunacy of a prophecy that claims that an elderly woman will have a baby.  A baby that was promised so very long ago.  A baby that probably was unmentionable now after years of disappointment and layers of a deep emotional sadness.  Years spent dealing with the painful ache that only childless infertile couples understand.

The LORD, however, being perfect and all, and able to do EVERYTHING, wanted to touch base with Sarah:

"13.  Then the LORD said to Abraham, 'Why did Sarah laugh and say, 'Will I really have a child, now that I am old?'  Is anything too hard for the LORD?  I will return to you at the appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son."

In verse 15, Sarah even tried to deny laughing because she laughed when it was inappropriate.  I've been there.  Usually when someone falls.  For some reason, people falling is hysterical to me.  The worse the fall the better.

I personally love the first episodes of Biggest Loser for that very reason.  The 400 pound people are falling on the tread mill, hitting their face on the way down and flying off the back of the treadmill into the wall over and over again.  Usually this footage is re-visited week after week amd I giggle every time.

So, I can understand uncontrollable laughter.

Sarah laughed.

But God showed up and showed her His glory and His faithfulness.

The same God that stopped the sun for Joshua (insert shout out to the "Sun Stand Still" book here) also parted the Red Sea, delivered his people time and time again, and conquered the grave stepped into Sarah's aching disappointment and pain and brought real laughter to her life in the form of Isaac.

Why is it then that we laugh when He tells us He's still in the business of doing big things?

Like Sarah, we must learn to experience the "joy of the Lord" in His strength, not our unbelief and derision.

Like Sarah, we might have to wait for dessert until after we eat our veggies.

Like Sarah, we will find our God faithful.

Now if I could only master that whole not laughing at people when they fall thing...

Learning From The Maniacal Plankton

Plankton planning world domination...

"See how good your life can be when you're maniacal?!?!"

This wonderful quote was spoken screamed to Sponge Bob by the ever-scheming Plankton as he was trying to teach him to assert himself in the most villainous way.

Plankton is like a lot of us.  He just wants to take over the world via the Krabby Patty secret formula and yet most of the sea-dwelling citizens of Bikini Bottom don't even notice him.  Most people just step on him or walk right by completely unaware that Plankton is shouting maniacal threats of world domination to them from an altitude equivalent to their ankle height.

When one actually does hear his maniacal villainous rants, they just nonchalantly say "good luck with that" and go about their day.

I know what you're thinking.  "You are such a bad parent that you let your kids watch Sponge Bob!"

And maybe "What the heck does Plankton have to do with me?  I don't plan world domination or own a fast food joint called the Chum Bucket!"

And even a little of "How did he know that I secretly plot world domination?!"

Personally, I don't plan world domination.  I wouldn't mind being selected for Survivor at some point in the near future, but that's about as exciting as my plans for world domination get.

I also can't really relate to Plankton's miniscule size.  There's always been more of me to love.

His obsession with food?  That I do understand!

So where am I going with this?

First of all are you really sure you don't try to rule the world?

Really?  That's interesting because I could have sworn that most people spent their lives plotting and scheming about ruling the world.

Well, maybe you can relate to that whole part about Plankton not being taken seriously, being stepped on or being ignored and largely unseen by the world around him.

Why is that?

Why in the world do we live life being unseen, unheard, or feeling unappreciated and unaccomplished?  Why do we spend our time plotting and scheming for the Krabby Patty secret formula to no avail?

The Bible tells of the authority Jesus gave his followers in Luke Chapter 10 where Jesus sent out 72 of his closest followers to heal and restore folks, cast out demons, and share the Gospel of Christ in full power and authority to a world in need.  In Luke 10:17-20 we read:

17 The seventy-two returned with joy and said, "Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name." 18 He replied, "I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. 19 I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. 20 However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven." 

So Jesus gives us "authority" and the "power" to overcome the enemy.  He even proclaims that nothing will harm us.

And yet we either refuse to believe and walk in that power or rejoice in the position and prestige without regard to the responsibility (hence his warning not to rejoice in the power, but that our names are written in heaven!)

Plankton's foolishness doesn't have to be ours.  We have authority and power but it's not for ourselves.  It's time we started living, walking, and talking like it!

In Compass Kids, our children's church program at True North, we began to talk about the virtue of initiative--seeing what needs to be done and doing it.  We looked at the life of Nehemiah and that crumbling wall and gate situation facing Jerusalem.

Nehemiah was not living in Jerusalem at the time.  And yet, he wept and prayed to the Lord about what to do.  He saw something that needed to be done and he did it.

In church, Pastor Jesse encouraged us to shatter the 80/20 rule of church.  Statistically 20% of the people in the church do 80% of the work.  God didn't call some of us, He called all of us.  You aren't given gifts and abilities to entertain yourself.  You have a purpose, and unlike Plankton it isn't world domination, but rather world deliverance.

Get in the game people!

There is so much to do.  Or as the Bible says "the harvest is plenty but the workers are few."  Open your eyes and look around!

Don't hide your light under a bowl.  Shine.  Serve.  Love.  Witness.

Don't rule the world.  Change it and let Him rule.